Hugh Hewitt Knows Trump Is Gentlest, Kindest Non-Violence-Incitingest President In Whole Wide World

Hugh Hewitt is one of the stupidest people in all of US America. For a while, we had a theory that the purpose of MSNBC allowing Hewitt to appear on its programs was to give all its hosts and contributors something to openly laugh at, because they do that a lot. But after the last few days, we are pretty sure it's time for Hewitt to either just go knock on Fox News's door and beg them to give him a job or just crawl up Donald Trump's ass and go to sleep, because that is obviously where he would prefer to live.

Hewitt has been insisting hard that #BothSidesDoIt, after a week and a half where solidly right-wing extremists committed murder and attempted murder and just in general terrorized people. On MSNBC late last week, he Hewitt-splained:

"There is an equivalent. There is a man screaming at Mitch McConnell," the Senate majority leader, "in the restaurant," commentator Hugh Hewitt said on MSNBC on Friday about the political culture following the mail bomb scare.

Wait, did the guy who yelled at Mitch McConnell in the restaurant HAVE A BOMB? WHAT ABOUT A GUN? We admit we don't get a chance to read every news article on the internet, so if we have missed something and the guy who yelled at McConnell HAD A BOMB OR A GUN, then Hewitt is correct that #BothSidesDoIt. Otherwise, McConnell is an elected official, and the leader of the Senate, and as such can expect people to say what they think of him when he goes out in public, and Hugh Hewitt's whining ain't gonna change that.

After the mass murder of Jewish congregants in Pittsburgh on Saturday, Hewitt, instead of taking a break to slap himself in the face repeatedly as punishment for being such a fucking idiot, penned a column in the Washington Post about how very uncivil it is for people to "blame politicians for violence they don't incite." We agree with the general sentiment -- like this thing from an hour ago! -- but hasten to add that it's totally appropriate to blame politicians for violence they do incite. For instance, Donald Trump and every single GOP elected official and rightwing mouthpiece who have been spreading anti-Semitic conspiracy theories about THE CARAVAN -- every single one of them shares blame for what happened in Pittsburgh, as the shooter was specifically motivated by lies about Jews paying the caravan people to murder America.

But no, Hewitt says! Trump is not to blame, because violent extremist idiots run the gamut of ideologies! For instance, some of them love Bernie Sanders, whereas others, like the Pittsburgh shooter, "hate" Donald Trump. (They've latched on to this lie hard, that because the dude wishes Trump would wear his white hood more openly, that means he "hates" Trump.)

The truth is the spectrum of violent behavior runs from the far-left extreme of the Bernie Sanders-supporting shooter at an Alexandria baseball field to last week's mailing of pipe bombs to prominent Democrats to Saturday's stomach-turning massacre at a Pittsburgh synagogue by a Trump-hating neo-Nazi, which made an already awful week even worse. That is the whole range of criminality at the fringes of American politics, a left-right full spectrum of angry, hate-filled obsessives.

Many sides to blame, none of whom have Yeti Pubes! Also some of them are lovely people, he imagines.

Hewitt again cited the guy who yelled at Mitch McConnell, and listed off more examples of left-wing violence, most of which were about restaurant-yelling, and a couple of which were actually legit and should not have happened:

Consider the moron who accosted Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and Labor Secretary Elaine Chao in a Louisville restaurant, or the mobs that chased Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) and his wife or Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen or Stephen Miller from their eateries: Who is responsible for inciting that behavior? For the physical attacks on two GOP candidates in Minnesota? For the Portland Antifa gang harassing motorists and a woman in a wheelchair?

The Portland thing did look pretty fucked up, but it should be noted that despite what loudmouth panty-wetters like Hugh Hewitt believe, there are not million-strong Antifa hordes terrorizing America. Hewitt of course omits the fact that the other side of the brawl with the Antifa people was the right-wing white supremacist Proud Boys group -- which tells you something about why the Antifa folks showed up -- because we guess that doesn't work with Hewitt's framing.

Hewitt lists liberals who could be blamed for all that stuff (most of which, again, is yelling at politicians in restaurants) like Maxine Waters and Eric Holder and Hillary Clinton, but states that they should not be blamed for it, just like Donald Trump shouldn't be blamed for literally inciting hatred and violence against journalists and racial minorities and literally everybody who isn't a white nationalist, because that is again very uncivil and Hugh Hewitt is nothing if not a very civil guy.

Of course, Hewitt's "examples" of those people inciting violence (not that he's saying they should be blamed for it!) are certifiable bullshit. Maxine Waters said it's OK to yell at politicians in public! Eric Holder said something about when they go low, we kick them in the dick! (OK, that is the Wonkette version of what Holder said.) Hillary Clinton said fuck your calls for "civility"!

Meanwhile, Trump and Fox News and elected GOP officials spread conspiracy theories about Jews funding the caravan people who are COMING TO STEAL GRANDMA CAROL'S LAKE HOUSE IN MINNESOTA RIGHT NOW and now 11 very lovely Jewish people are dead because of it.

Our point is that Hugh Hewitt is dumber than a fucking box of molten dicks and should STFU, but he all know he won't do that, so screw it.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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