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Photos: Court document, Facebook

Weird development this week in the case of Christopher Hasson, that Coast Guard dude who was arrested in February and described as planning a huge act of violence. Despite some very scary stuff in a court document asking he be held without bond, the government hasn't actually charged Hasson with anything like terrorism, and now his federal public defender is asking the judge to release him until trial, saying the government hasn't shown he's dangerous and that prosecutors don't plan to charge him with terrorism. That seems quite odd!


In the February motion to hold Hasson, prosecutors didn't mince words, calling him a "domestic terrorist, bent on committing acts dangerous to human life." They said he "intends to murder innocent civilians on a scale rarely seen in this country," and included excerpts from files on his computer in which he called himself a "long time White Nationalist" and said "much blood will have to be spilled to get Whitey off the couch" in support of a white homeland. He referenced the manifestos written by other white supremacist murderers, and had what the prosecutors described as a hit list of prominent liberals in government and media, like Chris Hayes, Cory Booker, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Nancy Pelosi, Kamala Harris, and others.

Bit of a follow-through problem, though: Apart from four counts of firearms and drug possession charges, prosecutors haven't filed any additional charges, never mind all the talk of his wanting to kill everyone on the planet. On Monday, Hasson's federal public defender, Liz Oyer, filed a request with US Magistrate Judge Charles Day to schedule a new detention hearing "at the earliest agreeable date for all parties," as the Baltimore Sun reports.

Oyer said her client's alleged domestic terrorism activities were "the heart of the government's case for detention." A prosecutor wrote in the February court filing that the drug and firearms charges were the "proverbial tip of the iceberg."

"No other crimes have been charged," Oyer wrote. "Moreover, during a recent status call, government counsel advised the Court and defense counsel that it does not expect to file a superseding indictment in this matter."

So far, prosecutors haven't responded in writing to the request for a new hearing. And nahh, the Department of Justice has still made no mention of Hasson on its website.

Yr Wonkette has no idea what the hell is up here. We are Not a Lawyer, but we can certainly understand that the prosecutors may have decided that there's just not enough evidence to prove a terrorism charge beyond a reasonable doubt (Yr Wonkette predicted his defense would be Imagining a Turner Diaries roleplaying game is not a crime). But that seems like something they might have considered before definitively stating to a judge the dude was planning a mass casualty event that had never been matched in the history of ever?

Seems like a hell of a thing to bring up and then never mention again, if you ask us. Are these prosecutors working from a Tommy Wiseau script?

[Baltimore Sun / WaPo]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Last week, Yr Dok Zoom talked a little bit about his damn dissertation, which looked at "Wabbit Literacy," the weird thing where we sometimes learn about the world from parodies and jokes long before we ever encounter the original stuff -- like learning about opera from cartoons. More than one person in the comments (which Wonkette does not allow and yet, like life, you find a way) mentioned they were disappointed, as kids, to learn that while roadrunners are real birds, the actual critter looks nothing like this:

Which is not to say that real roadrunners are the least bit disappointing, as animals go, because they're freaking incredible. Yes, even if they don't actually leave lines of flame down the center line of desert highways and go "Meep! Meep!" But they can sprint up to 20 miles per hour, which is faster than you, albeit slower than a real coyote's top speed. Also, yes, real coyotes are among the predators what eat roadrunners, which is why the wily birds adopted the evolutionary strategy of running right through fake tunnels coyotes paint on the sides of mountains.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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