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That picture you see above, who is in it? That is what you are wondering, and we are glad you asked! On the right is yr Wonket, obviously. On the left is certified Wonkette pal Thom Kostura, who is an artist, and also was one of the plaintiffs who sued America for the right to be as gay as you want, in the married way, and won! In the middle is Jim Obergefell, who also sued America for gayness, and whose name is on the Supreme Court case! Yes, dears, you might just think of that case as The Great Gay Throatcramming, but it's actually called Obergefell v. Hodges.

We basically cleared our calendar for this party last night, thrown jointly by the Human Rights Campaign and Everytown For Gun Safety. And there was a long line to get in!

And then once we got inside, it was ...

7th grade dance. We have two versions of this picture taken two hours apart. They are the same.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/604841/tyrant-barack-obama-warns-trump-is-the-real-deal"></a>[/wonkbar]OK, we are only throwing a little bit of shade here, because everybody has an off night, even professional gays like the HRC. We timed our arrival so we would be in the Uber while Tim Kaine was talking, and get to the party in time to see our beautiful, magnificent president Barry O'Sexxxy tell America his deepest darkest secrets about Hillary Clinton. And after we had been there a bit, and bought our drinks at the bar at the private party that somehow did not have an open bar (???), Barry appeared on the television, with the sound off. But there was a DJ and he was playing Chumbawamba or something, which is probably just as good as the president's historic speech.

Was there swag? Yes, there was!

Was there a gender-neutral bathroom? Yes, there was that, sort of! It was kind of makeshift, we guess, as it was actually a men's room with urinals, but OK whatever. We paused to worry about OUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS, but then we peed anyway:

Was there a VIP section, for the high-rolling gays? Yes, but we, Yr Wonket and a marriage equality plaintiff, couldn't get into it, because "reasons." It was to the right of the empty rollerskating rink.

After the party, we ended our night at the Cantina Los Caballitos somewhere in South Philly, and we Yelp review that place ONE MILLION WHORE DIAMONDS for having a very hot bartender with one of the cutest butts we have ever seen.

Now we are heading to a panel discussion thingie where our future BFF Melissa Harris-Perry is going to be, wish us luck, byeeeeeee.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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