Hundreds of Patriots, Cleverly Disguised As Tourists, Rally For Impeachment At White House
At noon on Saturday, the Real Americans of the greater Washington, DC metropolitan area were set to celebrate National Impeach Obama Week by meeting at the White House to call for the immediate impeachment of Kenyan Usurper President Barry Soetoro. The Wonket Washington Bureau readied full team coverage and had the interns price out some down-market gas masks, expecting a constitutionally righteous mob of sign-wielding activists surging forward against a line of police officers summoned from surrounding jurisdictions.
At the appointed hour, we found a sizable crowd gathered in front of the White House, but most of them seemed to be attending an unrelated event known as "last Saturday of the summer in front of the White House."
There was not one sign decrying Benghazi or Fast & Furious in sight.
That's not to say that no one was there to deliver a message. On the edge of Lafayette Park, centered directly across from the White House, there was Connie, presiding over her 33-year-long anti-nuclear protest, now with 20% more Gaza.
There was a lady who was concerned that no one was seeing the pie chart showing how much Congress really spends on the military, so she knitted it into an afghan and stretched it over an umbrella.
There was a guy playing Jimmy Carter's audio book on his solar-powered laptop and fastidiously rearranging his anti-Israel signs.
And there was the guy with "Give the White House The Bird" sharpied on his torso and a note pinned to his shorts inviting those who didn't like his message to complain to the DOJ. He alternated between educating onlookers about the evils of the Federal Reserve and strolling confidently along the fence with one or both middle finger(s) extended, occasionally breaking into passable Sinatra standards.
And there were scores of people from everywhere in the world teeming around, like any day at noon at the White House. As usual almost everyone was smiling and even most of the people protesting were jazzed because at that moment, the thing they came to express had the best chance of being heard or seen by the guy they assume can act on it.
When we were starting to think this was just another afternoon of free speech and international understanding at the White House, a swarm of dragonflies the size of surveillance drones suddenly appeared and tried to subtly infiltrate the crowd, dipping down to make meaningful eye contact with freaked-out tourists.
Could the NIOWers have been tipped off that their subversive event had been compromised and these mischievous insect agents would be crashing the party? Maybe for all the Lamestream Media's dismissals, these upstart impeachment advocates had reach at the highest levels of the federal government they were seeking to topple.
The Dragondrones kept watch on the crowd for over an hour, no doubt sent to gather intelligence to counter the grassroots threat to Obama's presidency.
Thanks for reminding us what we love about Washington, NIOWers! We like your idea to do this again in October. Pestilence notwithstanding, yr Wonket always does enjoy a field trip to the White House.
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