I Had Never Thought I'd Actually SEE A Blow Job In The White House
Donald Trump, who is still unfortunately technically the president, has just had a Cabinet meeting, on live TV. Also technically. The Cabinet was gathered, at least. I am not sure that was a meeting. That seemed more like the filming of a scene from Caligula, or possibly Who's Nailin' Paylin. By the time Betsy DeVos was finished I was taking notes on the next-level fellatory technique on display.
They went around the table and everyone said how honored they were to be working with Trump. In front of the press. After which Trump complained about how the Democrats were being very mean in that they won't confirm the people he hasn't nominated, and also on account of him being the world's most malignant narcissistic lickspittle. The single saving grace for that Cabinet was that if you have to suck a dick in public, at least Trump's is a tiny one.
You think I'm joking but Reince Priebus actually channeled a Mormon talking to his stake president when he addressed Trump, thanking him for the blessing of working for him on behalf of all the senior staff.
WH Chief of Staff Reince Priebus to Trump: “We thank you for the opportunity and blessing to serve your agenda” https://t.co/L7DEdZUjV3
— CNN Politics (@CNNPolitics) June 12, 2017
HE THANKED HIM FOR HIS BLESSINGS. Now, I write for a living. It is my job to have words to describe a thing properly and to convey the essence of something to the reader. If you are to walk away from this with a firm understanding of what happened in this meeting, here it is: WHAT THE HIGH HOLY FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?
Trump on himself: “Never has there been a president, with few exceptions…who’s passed more legislation, who’s done more things”@PolitiFactpic.twitter.com/4ZFNDrcOuL
— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) June 12, 2017
We here at Wonkette try never to stray too far into hyperbole but if we can be serious just for a second, this is some tin-pot dictator shit. This is a Potemkin Cabinet meeting. This is the video you put out after your Kickstarter project has been delayed twice and you need everyone to know your devs haven't totally abandoned you. This was a snuff film for the notion of American democracy. I would expect more subtlety from the love child of Freddie Mercury and Kim Jong Il.
Thank Christ a few of them, Mattis in particular, were smart enough to lavish praise on how much they loved working for the people in their departments, which is an obvious duck but of course His Most Acute Of Insecurities didn't fucking notice. One assumes that multisyllabic words are difficult for Trump.
Anyway, this is like a movie about some fascist dystopia, and it's generally not a good sign when that's a thing you say with increasing frequency! We are sure a full video will be posted sometime soon and we will try to find it for you when that happens!
[UPDATE: here is more video. It doesn't get better. And if you want to watch the whole thing, which we recommend if you can stomach it, it is on cspan here.]
Until then, just please give us some fucking money.
