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Heading back home today! Now we just need that outcome for a few million more folks...


Jesus Berrones, the Phoenix man who was ordered to be deported even though his 5-year-old son has a rare form of leukemia, gets to go home to be with his family today. After national publicity surrounding his case, Immigration and Customs Enforcement yesterday afternoon granted Berrones a one-year stay of his deportation order, along with a permit to allow him to go back to work as a furniture upholsterer. We aren't going to accuse ICE of having suddenly acquired even basic decency, but the agency apparently knows what terrible publicity looks like, and decided not to raid the church where Berrones had sought sanctuary.

As we noted yesterday, Jesus Berrones, 30, was brought to the US illegally when he was a baby himself, and has lived his entire life here. His wife, Sonia, and their five children are all citizens, and he's the only one able to give Jayden his chemo meds because Sonia is pregnant -- inhaling fumes from the open pill bottle could cause birth defects. Jesus had been under a deportation order previously, but had been granted a stay in 2016; in December, ICE rejected his request for another stay and told him he'd be deported. Instead, he sought sanctuary at Shadow Rock United Church of Christ, where he's been since Friday.

Then yesterday, Berrones received a notice that he'd been given a new one-year stay and work permit. ICE's Phoenix office issued the tersest possible statement:

In an exercise of discretion, ICE has granted Jesus Armando Berrones-Balderas a one-year stay of removal on humanitarian grounds [...] ICE issued a previous one-year stay in June 2016.

ICE has routinely given stays of deportation to parents of gravely ill children, so December's denial and the subsequent demand that he turn himself in yesterday to be deported was seen as a harsher twist in the Trump administration's approach to deportations. While this renewed stay is fantastic news for the Berrones family, let's not laud ICE too much for doing the bare minimum to accommodate a medical crisis -- and under Donald Trump's deport-everyone regime, Jesus Berrones will still be targeted for removal at the end of Jayden's treatment, expected to take another two years. Jesus was too old to qualify for DACA; it's unclear whether he'd be helped by Trump's proposed deal to fix that program, which also demands huge cuts in legal immigration, forever.

Mr. Berrones stayed one more night at the church Monday, and is planning to return home today. Elsewhere across America, the New Cruelty marches on, scooping up far more people with no criminal convictions than the Bad Hombres Trump insisted would be targeted -- which is exactly what his white supremacist base wants.

The Shadow Rock UCC will continue to shelter at least four other people from ICE, because clearly these are some Christians who've read the manual, especially that stuff in Matthew 25 about how we should treat everyone: as family. The church's FAQ on why it provides sanctuary is quite simply wonderful:

Um, should you be telling us that you're hiding people in your church?

No, because we’re not hiding anyone. When we bring a guest into sanctuary, we notify ICE, and even hold a press conference. Our guests remain on our campus while they’re in sanctuary, but we’re not squirreling them away in the choir loft.

The church has also set up a special Immigration Issues Fund to support its sanctuary work; if you want to send them a few Ameros, that donation is separate from the church's general operations account. It's a good reminder that for all the horrors of the Trump years, there are plenty of people who aren't going to stand for it.

And for god's sake, make sure everyone you know is registered and votes in November. This madness has to end.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Click here to help. Today, we'd be just as happy if you sent a few dollars to the Shadow Mountain UCC's Immigration Issues fund.

[CBS News / Tucson.com / WaPo]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

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While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

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