give yourself a hand, pete!


What's good, Idaho Legislature? How is legislating going up there in the Great Potato State or whatever you call yourselves? Quick question: do you guys ever feel like you run, well, a little bit behind? Like perhaps your wingnuts don't catch on to what other wingnuts are wingnutting about until several years later? Now now, we're not shaming -- we are just trying to figure out why, nearly four years after Todd Akin's "legitimate rape" fiasco, you've got one of your homegrown potato-fueled goobers making his own completely unfounded and equal parts hilarious and terrifying medical observations. 

During today’s ultrasound bill hearing, Rep. Pete Nielsen, R-Mountain Home, had a question for Angela Dwyer of Stanton Healthcare. He said issues of rape and incest hadn’t been addressed. “Now, I’m of the understanding that in many cases of rape it does not involve any pregnancy because of the trauma of the incident. That may be true with incest a little bit,” he added.

You know that thing on TV where people just open and close their mouths like fish to indicate extreme confusion and disbelief? That is what our mouths are doing right now. Akin's "legitimate rape means no baby" theory was not only debunked, it was mocked into the grave it so richly deserved. Pete Nielsen must have missed all several months of that. And what on God's green Earth are we to make of "[t]hat may be true with incest a little bit"? Is Nielsen saying that incest is a little bit less traumatic? Is he saying that incest, while traumatic, is less effective at magically making pregnancies go away? Who can say?

Perhaps Pete Nielsen clarified this next time he spoke, but nope. He simply extended his remarks by opening his facehole and letting a toxic waste dump of ignorance and disinformation spew forth.

After the meeting, Rep. Pete Nielsen, R-Mountain Home, said he stood by his comments that pregnancy is unlikely in cases of rape or incest. “It doesn’t happen as often as it does with consensual sex, because of the trauma involved,” he said. “That’s information that I’ve had through the years. Whether it’s totally accurate or not, I don’t know. In a rape situation, there’s a lot of trauma,” which he said he believes can prevent pregnancy. “That doesn’t mean it will. I believe that’s the case.”

Asked how he knew that, Nielsen said, “I read a lot of information. I have read it several times. … Being a father of five girls, I’ve explored this a lot.”

Being the father of girl children means you have spent a lot of time reading completely made up Pony Q. Unicorn shit about how even if you molest your kid or there is a stranger danger violent rape of one of them (because that is the only kind of rape you likely believe in), they magically won't get pregnant because LALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU? If we prayed, we would pray for your girls.

Why exactly was Nielsen sharing his extremely well-informed thoughts with the world on this topic? Pat yourself on the back if you guessed "because a horrible anti-choice bill is winding its way through the Idaho Legislature." Yes, HB516 is a very cool and great bill that Pete Nielsen would like to force someone to carry to term so it will become a law, and it does a very cool and great thing: It would force actual factual doctors at Planned Parenthood and the like to provide references to those horrible utterly un-medical crisis pregnancy centers so that ladies can avoid having a perfectly safe medical procedure like abortion and instead go to a different location where their heads will be filled the feverish imaginings of zealots, which is totally almost as good as actual medical care.

In case you've forgotten how terrible CPCs are and how far afield they range from providing useful advice about pregnancy, let's take a trip to the Wonkette archives and remind you.

  • Investigators were told medical inaccuracies including, “The AIDS virus is smaller than the holes in condoms,” and “30 percent of women attempt suicide after an abortion.”
  • In total, 61 out of 66 facilities did not report any medically trained or medically supervised personnel on staff. [...]
  • 26% (17 of 66 CPCs) incorrectly stated as fact that abortion leads to breast cancer.
  • 48% (32 CPCs) advised women seeking family planning services that none of the common methods of birth control are effective at preventing pregnancy.
  • 24% (16 CPCs) suggested the high possibility of miscarriage as a reason to avoid an abortion.

Oh, and let's not forget the best one:

[O]ne investigator who posed as a pregnant Jewish woman was given a Bible and told by volunteers at five different CPCs that she would not go to heaven unless she became a Christian.

Well, that is indeed totally science fact and very helpful medical advice and just the sort of thing that a pregnant lady who is not a good Christian pregnant lady needs to know. Thank god Pete Nielsen is part of an effort to steer women to such quality thinking.

Hopefully Idaho CPCs will be updating their materials shortly to reflect the well-known medical principle of "rape makes no baby and also too maybe incest does not either but not sure and also Jewish people are going to hell" so that Idaho ladies can be super duper well-informed with totally true information about pregnancy.

[Spokesman-Review/Idaho Legislature]

 

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