Mitch McConnell would like to talk about decorum, please. In related news, Mitch McConnell needs to go fuck himself.

During a very important appearance on the Lara Trump Internet TV Program For People Who Married Eric Trump On Purpose, McConnell was very displeased at President Barack Obama for daring to open his mouth and criticize Dear Leader Shitmouth Cheez Whiz Face Jones about his shit coronavirus response and his shit attorney general Bill Barr letting Michael Flynn lie to the FBI for free. You see, Obama's comments violated McConnell's sense of decorum, that's right, his sense of decorum. Well guess what, Moscow Mitch, why don't you cram a tiny teaspoonful of shit up inside your turtle shell so you can eat it with your tiny turtle mouth?

Oh golly, Wonkette seems to have lost its well-known decorum for a moment there!

MCCONNELL: I think President Obama should have kept his mouth shut. [...]

I think it's a little bit classless, frankly, to critique an administration that comes after you.

Fuck you. Can you believe McConnell held himself back from calling Obama "boy"? Because that's what we'd expect pig ignorant clownholes from Kentucky to do.

Mitch McConnell wants to talk about decorum? When he carries water and does cover-ups for a president who has with his tiny paws singlehandedly destroyed all honor and grace that ever came with the American presidency, every single time he opens his mouth or sends a tweet? Fuck you, Moscow Mitch.

Donald Trump has incited violence among the most deplorable of American society and threatened his political enemies with prosecution (IN THE PAST 48 HOURS) and called Nazis "very fine people" and called Mexicans rapists and called women "dogs" (LAST WEEK) and bragged about grabbing them by the pussy and destroyed the rule of law for his own personal benefit and got caught trying to steal the 2020 election and might as well have personally helped 80,000 people die in a pandemic on his watch, considering how incompetent his coronavirus response has been. We could fill 50 more paragraphs with run-on sentence examples of Trump's decorum but A) we don't want to and B) kinda distracted listening to the Supreme Court, TBH.

For Christ's sake, Trump accused Obama of committing the "biggest political crime in American history" YESTERDAY and also this weekend. What crime? OBAMAGATE. What's "Obamagate"? Oh, you know, but you won't write it in your newspaper, because you're SCUM, as President Bigly Decorum would say.

Meanwhile, Mitch McConnell is the guy who has such a high regard for the office of the presidency that he refused to even consider President Obama's nominee for the Supreme Court, Merrick Garland, because he made up a new rule that you can't do SCOTUS nominees in the last year of a president's term. (Of course, he changed his mind on that recently, because of how Donald Trump is now president.) Considering how all the polls showed Hillary Clinton beating the shit out of Trump — and she did, by the vote of the actual American people — we have always wondered if Moscow Mitch might have had more foreknowledge of the Russian attack on the 2016 election for Trump than we know.

Oh yeah! Speaking of that, remember how Moscow Mitch had so much decorum when the Obama administration asked for his help with a bipartisan condemnation of the Russian attack while it was ongoing, that Moscow Mitch refused and threatened President Obama? We remember. (Also Jesus remembers.)

This is the guy who wants to tell the last legitimately elected president of the United States to keep his mouth shut?

Elsewhere during Mitch McConnell's internet date with Lara Trump, he said some absolute fucking lies about how the Obama administration "did not leave" the Trump administration "any kind of game plan" for something like the coronavirus pandemic:

Right. You know, except that President Obama created a White House pandemic response team at the National Security Council, which Trump eliminated; they left them a "literal playbook," as Obama national security guy Ben Rhodes pointed out on Twitter (it was step-by step! 69 pages long! goddamn fucking Pandemic-By-Numbers!); they threw the incoming Trump team a whole mock pandemic exercise, to help them get ready! The Trump team mocked it and did jerk-off motions the whole time, and Wilbur Ross slept through it. And so much more!

We could rant more but we are finished now.

Barack Obama is far too "decorum" to say this, but maybe Mitch McConnell is the one who needs to keep his little insolent fuckmouth shut, and that is what we think about that.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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