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We're sad to report that her very modest YouTube success may have spoiled Megan Fox -- not the pouty, please-rescue-me gal from the Transformers movies, but the loopy Christianist homeschool mom whose bizarre "audit" of Chicago's Field Museum became a viral must-see last fall. She did a follow-up visit to a zoo, where she explained that hunters have saved the wild animals of "Zambibia," but while her eyes are just as crazy as ever, her schtick was already growing old. Now she's back with a new multi-part exploration of Kentucky's Creation Museum, and -- would you believe this? -- where she was awfully skeptical of all the "science" in the Field Museum, she finds the Creation Museum "pretty convincing."

Part One: Nobody Knows Anything

Fox is pretty happy with the introductory movie at the museum, which explains the seven days of Creation, and she can't help but compare it to the crazy unproven ideas at the Field Museum:

This makes absolutely as much sense as anything at that Field Museum. Really, it makes as much sense as anything else. It does! It’s as valid as anything else. They don’t know either. The Field Museum has no idea either. Instead of the God of the Bible, they’re just counting on the god of primordial soup. That’s all it is. It’s all fake. So whether you believe in the god of primordial soup or the god of Abraham, whatever.

Fox is quite impressed with the Garden of Eden diorama, which shows Adam naming all the animals, "just like in the Bible," and is also impressed by the documentation that cites Genesis explaining that God gave food for all the animals: "I think it's wonderful, I mean why not? Like my daughter says, 'Who wouldn't like this better?'"

Well aware she got a lot of press for her rant about the Field Museum covering up evidence that dragons were real -- just like in the Bible -- Fox goes out of her way to point out that virtually every reptile in the Creation Museum, including the Serpent in the Garden, looks like a dragon. It's sort of sad, really, as if the Star Wars Kid had insisted on making video after video where he kept flinging things around like a lightsaber.

Fox is duly awed by a display touting the wonders of the maybe-to-be-built "Ark Encounter," a completely accurate reconstruction of Noah's Ark, which was real. If the thing ever gets built, which may depend on whether Creation Museum owner Ken Ham wins his dumb lawsuit for those sweet tax dollars that he's completely entitled to. Big Government is one of the sins loosed upon the world by the Fall, but it's also a handy source of revenue. "I can't wait for that Noah's Ark Adventure thing, that looks really fun -- then we'll have an excuse to come back to Kentucky." We're fairly certain that's the first time anyone has looked for an excuse to go back to Kentucky.

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Looking over the displays about the Great Flood, Fox does make a stab at her trademark brand of critical thinking, comparing the exhibit labeling to that in the Field museum:

4350 years ago. They're sure about that. [smiles] I'm not sure about that. But this is the research they've done, and these are the numbers they've come up with. So I haven't done the research, and I don't know. I feel the same way about the Field Museum. I mean, so that's the research they've done, and those are the numbers they came up with. Is it true? I don't know. Nobody knows. Nobody was there! What's important is knowing all the different theories and making up your own mind. What do you think? I'm OK with not knowing. That's what I think.

Because whether your research is based on counting backward through the names of the people in the Bible or using radiometric dating to test the age of rocks, it's all pretty much guesswork, and why does it matter anyway?

All in all, Fox is delighted that there can be more than one view of science, because isn't science all about finding a worldview that's comfortable for you, and that conforms with the things you want to believe?

You know what I like about this place? It means the evolutionists no longer have a stranglehold on ancient history, and I like that. I don't think anybody ought to have a stranglehold on anything. Everybody's allowed to have their own opinions on stuff, and this is a great place for other people who maybe question what the Darwinists are pushing down our throats.

No truer statement of the goals of American science education has ever been made, probably. Why isn't this woman on a school board somewhere?

Part Two: Oh God, There's More

In part two of her visit to the Creation Museum, Fox explains that evolution isn't real, because "A fruit fly never becomes anything but another fruit fly, a different type of fruit fly. A horse doesn’t become a fly, or a horse doesn’t become a bear, and a bear doesn’t become a whale."

Fox also treats us to this accurate explanation of how evolutionary biologists think whales evolved:

Whales evolved after bears. This is not a lie. Bears walked into the ocean with their mouths open looking for food and became whales. Magical.

She also thinks that if Darwin were alive today, "I don't think he'd be pleased with what his followers are doing," because of course they've strayed from real science:

The cell is more complicated than he thought it was. And if he were any type of good scientist, he would start over again, look for different explanations, because this one doesn’t quite fit.

It really is impressive that she's held on to her strange belief about what Darwin actually said about cells, which he didn't actually say. She can't even get standard Creationist talking points right.

Once more, Fox issues a cry for intellectual freedom, because it's nice to believe what you want to believe, and isn't that what America's about? "Do these people have a right to believe what they believe, do they? Or should they be threatened with rape and death?" Which, again, is pretty much exactly how science works, as a glance at any peer-reviewed journal will prove.

For the most part, this video is just a standard recitation -- with dingbat elaborations -- of anti-evolution cant, and it's far less fun. Also, we promised ourselves we wouldn't write more than a thousand words on this stupid person this time around, The End.

[RawStory / RawStory again]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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