Idiot Idaho Teen Rolls SUV When Idiot Friend Lights Armpit Hair On Fire
In what we fear could be the start of a trend, a Boise teenager who is definitely not Kid Zoom or any of his friends crashed a Ford Bronco Sunday after his 16-year-old front seat passenger reached over and set the driver's armpit hair on fire with a lighter. This sounds like the sort of thing that could become popular as a dare among a certain subset of the high-testosterone/redneck/skoal-chewin'/coal rollin' set. You know, morons. Happily, there were no serious injuries.
The accident, or axillary arson, occurred at 5:30 a.m. in a relatively rural part of Ada County:
Eighteen-year-old Tristan Myers was driving when his front-seat passenger, a 16-year-old boy, set Myers' armpit hair on fire. The driver lost control of the Ford Bronco, rolling the vehicle.
Two girls in the backseat, ages 15 and 16, were thrown from the vehicle. Myers, his front-seat passenger, and a 17-year-old boy remained in the vehicle. None of the teens were wearing seatbelts, deputies say.
Three of the kids were hospitalized with non-life threatening injuries, which presumably included singeing. It is not known if the front seat passenger can be treated for being a pyromaniac dumbass.
Myers initially told deputies that his speeding and swerving resulted from trying to avoid an animal in the road, but then the deputies had to go and talk to all the kids in the vehicle, who were total narcs and narced on him. Myers was cited for inattentive driving, and his brilliant passenger was ticketed for "interfering with the driver's safe operation of a vehicle" and also banned for two years from calling shotgun.
Yr Wonkette will create a google alert for "armpit fire" to keep you informed of possible copycat crimes, or if the teens involved get an audition for the next Jackass movie.
Also, the accident appears not to have played any role, beyond perhaps serving as confirmation bias, in a recent survey that determined that Idaho has the nation's rudest drivers.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.