If Donald Trump Says 3 + 1 = 5, Then 3 + 1 = 5
Remember that time, on Monday, when the Supreme Court, in Whole Women's Health v. Hellerstedt, handed down a very important decision regarding abortion clinic regulations in Texas? And it decided, 5-3, that no, Texas shouldn't be able to make up stupid laws just to shut down abortion clinics?
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/603446/yay-abortion-best-scotus-decision-ever-strikes-down-texass-garbage-trap-laws"></a>[/wonkbar]Well! Donald Trump finally decided to respond to that Thursday in an interview on Mike Gallagher's radio show. Trump explained that had Scalia never died, or were he president and able to pick a Supreme Court justice, the court would have decided in favor of Texas's stupid law. "It would have been the opposite," he said.
Here is a partial transcript of that interview:
GALLAGHER: [T]hat ... for so many of us is the most compelling, riveting reason, you have to enthusiastically support you over Mrs. Clinton. Now this week, the Supreme Court handed the pro-life movement a disappointing decision ...
TRUMP: Well there's your first example right there. [...] Now if we had Scalia was living, or if Scalia was replaced by men, you wouldn't have had that, okay? It would've been the opposite. But you know, there's your first example right there of -- and that's going to be the first of many. And if she gets in ...
GALLAGHER: It's going to get worse.
GALLAGHER: So just to confirm, under a ... President Donald Trump-appointed Supreme Court, you wouldn't see a majority ruling like the one we had with the Texas abortion law this week.
TRUMP: No, I -- you wouldn't see that. And ... people understand that. And, now you know, when you appoint judges sometimes, they change their minds. Because you had that in the case of Obamacare with John Roberts. I mean, who would've thought that could have happened? He could've killed it twice and he didn't. That was terrible. And that was a Bush appointment. I mean that was -- that was so bad ...
Now, sure, MATHLETES, you might say that this would have made the final tally 5-4, and that Texas still would have lost. But what you fail to realize is that Donald Trump is very, very good at math. Math teachers love him. And maybe you think that 3 + 1 = 4, but it's like that guy said in that one book, you know? "Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes they are all of them at once. You must try harder. It is not easy to become sane."
And if he says 3 + 1 = 5, or that 49 is a bigger number than 51 ...
Or that 42 is greater than 40, then you just need to go along with that. FOR AMERICA.
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse