If FBI Can't Investigate Brett Kavanaugh's Sex Crimes, JANE MAYER AND RONAN FARROW WILL

As we type this to you right now, senators are starting to view the FBI's supplemental report on Brett Kavanaugh and how often he drunkenly shoved his genitals at every woman he ever met. There is only one copy of the report, and every senator has to look at it individually, so if there's anything juicy in there, y'all know it's still gonna leak, because how hard do you really think it is to outsmart Chuck Grassley? NOT THAT GODDAMN HARD.

MSNBC reports that nine people were interviewed in total, but not people like BRETT KAVANAUGH or CHRISTINE BLASEY FORD, and this is because the White House decided to cut the FBI's dick off to protect Judge Rapey Wapey with the gross butthole mouth. Obviously it's completely unfair to interview Kavanaugh, because he's a pathological liar like Donald Trump and you don't want a brand new Supreme Court justice to be under investigation for lying to the FBI on his first day. Regardless, a "source" tells MSNBC that the Trump White House has decided that Bitches Be Lyin', because of course it has.

But Jane Mayer and Ronan Farrow came out with a new report last night from a whole METRIC FUCKTON of people the FBI was unwilling/unable to interview, people who feel like they are being "silenced" by this current process and who just want to share with America what a wretched piece of shit their old pal Brett Kavanaugh is. And we have new sworn statements from people, one on the record, and one whose name is being redacted, that they've been TRYING TO GIVE THE FBI, BUT THEY CAN'T BECAUSE THE FBI IS QUOTE UNQUOTE "BUSY" RIGHT NOW.

Some of this is related to how Deborah Ramirez, who says Brett Kavanaugh drunkenly shoved his dick in her face and tried to get her to kiss it, as a way of publicly humiliating her, gave the FBI over TWENTY FUCKING NAMES of people who could help corroborate her account, but the FBI wasn't interested, because it wasn't allowed to be interested. (It could also have something to do with how FBI Director Chris Wray was a classmate of Kavanaugh's, and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein was a longtime colleague of Kavanaugh's, and showed up at his confirmation hearings to lend support. We are just saying.)

Ramirez says it out loud: "I feel like I'm being silenced."

Kenneth Appold is the name of a guy who shared a suite with Brett Kavanaugh at Yale, who spoke to the New Yorker previously without going on the record. He is the one who has said, with 100% certainty, that he remembers hearing what happened to Deborah Ramirez either the night it happened or the day after, and that he remembers hearing exactly who did it. He was appalled, because it was so far beyond what some are trying to portray as just drunky college silliness. Appold teaches at the Princeton Theological Seminary, so he is obviously a liberal tool of the Deep State.

Appold's grad school roommate is a guy named Michael Wetstone, who confirms that Appold told him about the incident long ago.

Appold's recollection of Brett Kavanaugh matches everything we've learned about Kavanaugh and witnessed from him:

Those who have described the judge as studious and somewhat reserved or shy are correct, he said. He added, "that was true part of the time, but so are the other things that have been said about him. He drank a lot, and when he was drinking he could be aggressive, and belligerent. He wasn't beating people up, but there was an edge and an obnoxiousness that I could see at the hearings. When I saw clips" of Kavanaugh's Senate testimony, Appold said, "I remembered it immediately."

Brett Kavanaugh is basically Dr. Jekyll and Mr. RapeDouche, it seems.

This is how Appold described his recollection of hearing about what happened to Ramirez, so long ago:

"The person who saw it was taken aback by what he had seen," too, he said. Appold added, "It was a disturbing thing. I think everyone recognized that a line had been crossed here."


Appold says he's coming forward mostly because he's tired of watching Brett Kavanaugh lie about fucking everything. Another classmate from that time, Stephen Kantrowitz, is particularly peeved that it seems the FBI hasn't reached out to a damn fucking one of the people who could corroborate what happened to Ramirez.

But there are more people in the Jane Mayer/Ronan Farrow piece! As we said, one is on the record and one is not, but both have been knocking at the door of the FBI and being told nobody's home.

One is a former classmate of Kavanaugh's from Georgetown Prep, who wishes to remain anonymous, who has made a sworn statement about Kavanaugh and his group of friends, about how they literally would count off how many kegs they polished off the previous weekend, and how he and his football friends treated Renate Schroeder (now Dolphin), who appeared in all their yearbooks, because they all said they were an "alumnius" of her. He remembers hearing them brag graphically about how they "passed her around for sex." The classmate says Brett Kavanaugh was the one who made up a rhyme about how if you wanted to get laid easy-like, you needed to call "REEEE-NATE," which he would chant in the halls at school.

Dolphin continues to be very upset about all these revelations, and we are sad for her, because she's probably just a nice woman who went on a few dates with total dicks in high school and had no idea they'd create a full sexual mythology around her. She thought those guys were her friends.

He also, in general, remembers Kavanaugh and his friends being the kinds of guys who verbally abused and terrorized kids at school for no goddamned reason.

"It was so wrenching for me when I heard Dr. Ford mention how they were laughing," the Georgetown Prep classmate said, in a phone interview. "That really, really struck a chord. I can hear him laughing when someone was picked on right now."

What a charming guy Brett Kavanaugh is.

Another person in the Mayer/Farrow piece is on the record, and it sounds like her allegations go right along with what Julie Swetnick, Michael Avenatti's client, claims happened to her. Her name is Angela Walker, and she was a classmate of Dolphin's at the Stone Ridge School of the Sacred Heart in Bethesda, Maryland. Here's what she says about the parties Brett Kavanaugh and Mark Judge liked to throw:

Walker's declaration described attending a large house party with Georgetown Prep boys, where, she wrote, "A friend from Prep warned me not to go upstairs, where the bedrooms were, cautioning me that it could be dangerous."

You know, because of all the gang rape.


Jesus fucking Christ.

[New Yorker]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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