If Reporters Can Win A Pulitzer For Being Dumber Than Trump At A Press Briefing, Then This Clown Is A Finalist
I have not seen "Tiger King" on Netflix. Most of my TV viewing was while on the elliptical at the gym or during airline travel, both of which COVID has denied me. As a family, we watch a lot of Nature episodes on PBS because we're now homeschooling and learning how horses evolve is how our son will end up at Yale. But I've heard a lot about "Tiger King." I'm glad people have a diversion during their house arrest. However, I'm not sure it's the sort of topic a serious journalist should discuss with the president — even if he's Donald Trump — during the daily plague briefing.
It's unclear who this clown is who asked Trump about "Tiger King." If I discover his name on the Internets, I promise to go back and swap it in for every place I used “clown."
CLOWN: One of the biggest ratings hits of the coronavirus ...
Gonna stop you right there, slick. The coronavirus has resulted in the deaths of almost 15,000 people so far, and it hasn't retired from the people-killing business. This is like asking George W. Bush about TV ratings while the twin towers fell. As New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo somberly noted, New York's virus death toll — that we know of — is 6,268. That's twice as many people as the state lost in the 9/11 attacks. Although I'm wary of comparing a natural disaster (even one made worse by Trump's bungling) to a deliberate act of homicide, these are devastating figures nonetheless. Now's probably not the time for levity in the press room.
Cuomo probably would've broken his foot off in the ass of someone dumb enough to ask him about "Tiger King" at a time like this, but the clown flattered Trump by calling his press briefing about a global pandemic a “ratings hit." That's why Trump treated him nicely and didn't yell at him like he does women reporters who ask him useful questions.
CLOWN: ... a show on Netflix called "Tiger King." The man who's the star of this is a former zoo owner who's serving a 22-year-prison sentence. He's asking you for a pardon, saying he's unfairly convicted. Your son yesterday jokingly said that he was going to advocate for it.
Trump's idiot son — the oldest one, Donald Jr. — was on SiriusXM's "Jim Norton and Sam Roberts" radio show Monday, because what else is he supposed to do? Roberts mentioned that Joseph Maldonado-Passage aka “Joe Exotic" had asked for a pardon and suggested that Trump Jr. could make that happen, as if he's a common Ivanka who his father actually likes and willingly spends time around.
ROBERTS: I feel you, Don Jr. can go in, make a meeting with your dad and go, 'Look, I know we're all dealing with corona and there's a lot going on right now, but at the same time, maybe a presidential pardon for poor Joe Exotic who's in there?''
TRUMP JR: Maybe not right now, but I can generally be for this just for the meme. And just for frankly watching the media reaction to this thing. It would be pretty amazing to ultimately see that.
Donald Trump Jr. is 42 years old but he'll never stop acting like a petulant brat. The presidential pardon isn't a tool for owning the libs. There are wrongfully accused people on death row right now. Maybe the Innocence Project can rabbit season/duck season Trump Jr. into advocating for the release of those poor bastards. Trump Jr. admitted to not having watched "Tiger King" all that closely.
TRUMP JR: Now, I don't even know exactly what he was charged with… I watched the show, but it was like, I don't know exactly what he was guilty of or wasn't.
Maldonado-Passage was found guilty of paying a hitman $3,000 to kill animal rights activist Carole Baskin. That's contract murder, which is a major felony even if the hitman doesn't go through with it. A criticism of the Netflix series is that “Joe Exotic" is presented more sympathetically than he deserves, and Baskin is depicted as an outright villain. Trump Jr. also shared the opinion of many "Tiger King" viewers that Baskin was possibly responsible for the “disappearance" of her husband, which she denies.
So, yeah, this clown asked the president about whether he'd pardon the guy from a Netflix series based on a goofy exchange between Trump's goofier son and a radio host. Trump correctly assumed the son in question was “Don," because he doesn't know much but knows his first born is a moron. Trump hadn't seen the show, because even he's a little busy now. The clown had no explanation for why Trump should pardon Maldonado-Passage or even care. He was just passing along the message from the convicted attempted murderer.
S06E05 - Sideshow Bob on Attempted Murder www.youtube.com
Trump, looking more in his element, jokingly said he'd “take a look" because violence against women is HILARIOUS. Then a real reporter asked a question about the plague that's killing everyone on the president's watch.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).