If The Duggars Love Hobby Lobby So Much, They Should Gay Marry It. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Happy Sunday, you scrappy weasels. We hope you had a nice week, enjoying all the gross news yr Wonkette had to report, because all the news was just terrible and gross and bad. We thought we had our fill of kid-touching stories with Josh Duggar, but then Denny Hastert came in and was like ME TOO, I TOUCHED KIDS TOO. ALLEGEDLY. So it's time to take a look see at the top ten stories of the week, as chosen by you, the wise Wonkers.
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All right, here are your top ten posts of the week:
1. Is there a connection between the Duggars and Hobby Lobby? OF COURSE THERE IS, and it's not just about Michelle taking the girls to buy pipe cleaners and glitter, for crafts.
2. Sister-molester Josh Duggar sued the Arkansas DHS, probably because they called him a sister-molester.
3. When Jim Bob Duggar was running for the Senate, he was pretty sure that rapists and incesters should be put to death. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's different when the incester is your kid, whatever.
4. Suddenly Texas lawmakers weren't so scared of FEMA, once they needed disaster relief.
5. Yep, ex-Speaker Denny Hastert was paying hush money to cover up some kid-diddling of his own. ALLEGEDLY.
6. It's a good thing Jim Bob Duggar's pedophile cop pal didn't investigate Josh Duggar too hard, otherwise Josh could have been prosecuted!
7. We would like a Pulitzer for coining the term "pussy sniffles." How do you get them? By having sex in a non-Duggar-approved way, of course!
8. The very same pedophile cop pal, from #6, says Jim Bob Duggar is a big liar, and that he didn't disclose ALL of Josh Duggar's sex criming. He would remember too!
9. In case you have been living inside a large rock since last week, here is the original police report on Josh Duggar. Yes, this story is so big that a story from LAST WEEK made the top ten!
10. Rightwing troll "journalist" Chuck C. Johnson got banned from Twitter, again. Please, baby Jesus, let this be the last time.
Those were some gross stories! But we're glad you LOLed at stupid Chuck C. Johnson enough to break that story into the top ten.
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Okay, now go have a nice Sunday, and if you run into Josh Duggar, see if he'll take you to the Hobby Lobby, for craft time.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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