If Your Erection Lasts Longer Than 6 Days, Better Hope You're Not In A New York Jail
So here is a frivolous lawsuit, one that shows just how litigious our society has become and why we need TORT REFORM!!! Rodney Cotton was in jail at the Manhattan Detention Complex in New York, and due to an antidepressant he was taking, Risperdal, he got a boner FOR SIX DAYS. According to his lawsuit, two separate jail doctors decided the best way to treat his priapism (a known side effect of the drugs) was to give him Tylenol and ice packs, which is, science fact, NOT how you treat such a condition. On the fourth day, he finally was taken to Bellevue Hospital for surgery, but it was too late. Cotton's dick does not work anymore.
Wait, did we say "frivolous lawsuit?" No, this is insane and horrible:
“I have to readjust my manhood,” Cotton told DNAinfo New York. “I have to readjust myself because I’m not even whole.” [...]
After his erection would not go away for hours on July 4, 2011, Cotton asked to be taken to the jail clinic, but a guard initially told him it was not an emergency and he would have to wait until after the Independence Day holiday weekend, according to the lawsuit.
In order to get seen, Cotton told the guard he had chest pains, he said.
The first doctor he saw, Dr. Craig Metroka, gave him Tylenol and ice packs instead of sending him to the hospital, according to documents. The second, Dr. Landis Barnes, gave him the same treatment the next day, the lawsuit says.
That Dr. Barnes sounds like QUITE a fella, as Gawker reports that he's also currently being sued for telling another prisoner to throw his finger in the garbage. Yes, you read that correctly. You see, part of the inmate's finger had been cut off after a bad run-in with an electric door at the prison. Sound medical advice, dude! Good news: that dude was also eventually taken to Bellevue, and he and his finger are one again.
More bad news:
Corizon, the Tennessee-based for-profit company that handles medical care for all New York City jails, has a history of malpractice and abuse, and complaints against it have recently become harder for the city to ignore.
What kinds of complaints? Oh, like people dying from lack of medical care. That sort of thing. Their families are suing now, but it's not like Corizon can be held accountable; its contract says so:
The provider's $400 million contracts with the city contain an indemnification clause protecting it from malpractice lawsuits, meaning if the mourning families win their cases, it will be taxpayers handing over money, not Corizon.
Yeah, these doctors are really bad at doctoring, and it sounds like they don't give a fuck about their patients, also, too.
But hey, happy ending? (Not for Cotton's dick, sadface.) Corizon's contract with the city of New York ends at the stroke of midnight on New Years' Eve, and the city has decided to kick the company's ass to the curb, and replace it with a public entity, New York's Health and Hospitals Corporation.
So ... good, we guess? Hope they don't have the same problems with treating 72 hour boners and severed fingers or whatever.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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