In Which Dear Leader Trump Celebrates Veterans With Hymns To Himself
This weekend, after spending most of the week alternating between tweeting attacks at the news media and whining about the news media reporting on his tweets instead of writing about how he is awesome and doing totally good stuff, Donald J. Trump spent approximately $400,000 of taxpayer money to attend a "Celebrate Freedom" rally at the Kennedy Center. Which ostensibly had something to do with veterans, but more importantly, with Donald J. Trump and pictures of Donald J. Trump and songs about Donald J. Trump, and also gross anti-gay pastor Robert Jeffress. And, uh, Christmas.
The celebration included, I shit you not, a HYMN TO HIM. Yes, the First Baptist Dallas Church sang a song called "Make America Great Again."
The First Baptist Church in Dallas serenaded our Commander-In-Chief with a song based on his motto "Make America Great Again" pic.twitter.com/i3kJbK0LH2— FOX & friends (@foxandfriends) July 3, 2017
Here, for the masochists in the audience, is the whole thing.
Lyrics include: “Lift the torch of freedom all across the land / Step into the future joining hand in hand.” Just so long as you're only holding hands with people of the opposite sex, I guess. Because that hand-holding could lead to gay sex, which could result in you exploding (according to Robert Jeffress, anyway).
This would all be super normal if we were living in North Korea. So maybe just like, pretend we live in North Korea now? I kind of do that sometimes but with Imperial Russia. Like, hey! They had Czars who were literal children! And uh, now they have Putin? OK. Bad example.
Ironically, part of his speech to the audience was all about how he's gonna eliminate the Johnson Amendment so they can preach from the pulpit -- a thing which was clearly already happening. As far as we know, Robert Jeffress has not lost his church's tax exempt status for publicly supporting Donald Trump. Probably because eliminating the Johnson Amendment has absolutely nothing to do with allowing church leaders and religious people to express political sentiments without losing their tax exempt status (as it rarely happens), and everything to do with allowing them to give Donald Trump their tithing money, and also to allow super rich people to set up 501(c)3s that will allow them to write political donations off on their taxes.
Though he did speak briefly about veterans -- or at least Christian veterans -- stating “Not only has God bestowed on us the gift of freedom, he’s also given us the gift of heroes willing to give their lives to defend that freedom,” he did not miss a chance to whine about the media, because that's just what he does.
Via The Hill:
“The fake media tried to stop us from going to the White House, but I’m president and they’re not,” Trump said, headlining the Celebrate Freedom Concert at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C.
“The fact is the press destroyed themselves because they went too far. Instead of being subtle and smart, they used the hatchet and the people saw it right from the beginning,” he continued.
“The dishonest media will not stop us from accomplishing our objectives on behalf of the American people. Their agenda is not your agenda,” he said, rallying his supporters.
And then there was the part about Christmas?
“Our religious liberty is enshrined in the very first amendment in the Bill of Rights. The American founders invoked our Creator four times in the Declaration of Independence,” Trump said. “Benjamin Franklin reminded his colleague at the Constitutional Convention to begin by bowing their heads in prayer. I remind you that we’re going to start staying ‘Merry Christmas’ again.”
You know he's just pushing this part of his agenda because he's unlikely to mispronounce the word Christmas. Or because he thinks he is speaking to literal veterans of The War on Christmas, rather than veterans of real wars.
I wonder if he's even aware of the fact that there are Jewish veterans and Muslim veterans and Buddhist veterans and Atheist veterans and Jehovah's Witness veterans and all kinds of veterans out there who do not celebrate Christmas? Also, I would imagine that anyone sitting and listening to this atop an ass filled with shrapnel probably does not consider store clerks wishing people a Merry Christmas to be such a pressing issue. In fact, I'd bet you that a lot of veterans who perhaps have cancer due to the effects of Agent Orange might care more about things like... I don't know -- health care? Especially given the fact that thousands of veterans are likely to lose their health care under the plan Trump had been touting?
But yeah, I'm sure they are super duper concerned with regulating people's holiday greetings. I'm sure they really enjoyed listening to songs about Donald J. Trump and how he is great, and his stories about how the media is so mean to him. I'm sure they're very worried about Robert Jeffress not being able to tell his flock who to vote for. Surely, these are our most important priorities as a nation. Happy Fourth of July!
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse