Inconsolable Dipsh*t Demands Dead Guy Stop Hurting His Feelings
If you are a normal American, you might have spent your Sunday celebrating St. Patrick's Day. Or maybe you just had brunch or maybe you cleaned your house or maybe you just lay around and watched Netflix. But if you were the president of the United States, you were celebrating the Day Of The Dead (Guy Who Refuses To Stop Hurting Your Feelings Even Though He Is Dead), which means you telegraphed your insecurities by tweeting insults at John McCain, who is, again, a dead person.
We feel like we say this a lot, but this is not normal.
He started on Saturday, actually, because clearly whoever was supposed to babysit at the White House this weekend called in sick. After retweeting videos of himself doing VETO, because VETO is so cool, he copy/pasted something Ken Starr said on Fox News about John McCain and THE DOSSIER.
Did we mention John McCain is currently dead? Like, we know the fact that John McCain existed in the first place is a constant reminder of Donald Trump's shortcomings as a human being, but you'd think somebody -- anybody -- might be willing or able to tell Trump that tweeting insults about a dead person kinda sorta makes you look like a weak and sad chickenshit loser. But we guess for that to happen, somebody would have to truly love him enough to try to save him from embarrassing himself, and nobody loves him in that way, so ...
The rest of Trump's Saturday seemed to consist of him retweeting his own tweets from Friday, because they were so fun the first time.
More John McCain would come on Sunday, but first it was time to shed some tears about the "Saturday Night Live" television show, which is somehow allowed every weekend to make fun of Donald Trump, just like it has done to every president since it debuted in the 1970s.
Yes, it's truly incredible. (It was also a rerun.) He followed up with "Should Federal Election Commission and/or FCC look into this?" because he is an absolute moron. Maybe Trump could declare a national emergency to say he is thin-skinned and shits his pants every time the television makes him cry, and Ben Sasse can find a reason to vote to uphold it.
Anyway, Dead John McCain HURT MISTER PRESIDENT'S FEELINGS AGAIN.
1. Donald Trump does not read "court papers," because "court papers" are too hard for a remedial student like Donald Trump to read.
2. John McCain was not last in his class (but he was close!).
3. John McCain got the dossier after the election. (It was late November, at the Halifax Security Forum, that the dossier was brought to McCain's attention.)
There is nothing the criminal and illegitimate president of the United States believes that is true, is there?
We are not a fan of Meghan McCain, but we support her clapping back at President WhineFace McSadCrimes:
STILL voting for Trump, Megs, because of the mean liberals? You just let us know when that changes.
Meanwhile, Lindsey Graham, who was John McCain's best friend but who is now pretty obviously compromised, couldn't even muster the spine to respond to Trump's face:
Stuff it up your ass, Linds.
Kellyanne Conway's husband George accurately described Trump's behavior:
The rest of Trump's Sunday consisted of begging Fox News to "bring back" Jeanine Pirro, because we guess she is still on "vacation" after her latest round of pig-ignorant bigotry, and to "keep fighting for Tucker," who is also under fire for his latest round of pig-ignorant bigotry, and retweeting absolute randos on the internet who tweeted things to comfort Trump about the Russian collusion witch hoax and how John McCain was a big bad bully who should be punished harshly for hurting Trump's feelings all the time, if only he were not currently a dead person. (You should know that Trump also seems to have a new favorite Fake News website on the internet. It has pop-ups, because all senile senior citizen fake news websites have those. Not turning our ad blocker off to see what else it has.)
Oh, and he doesn't like some of the weekend anchors on Fox.
And he RTed randos who tweeted to say they also do not like the weekend anchors on Fox, and we must remind you that we are talking about what the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES spent his Sunday doing.
And of course, because it is Monday, he is
back at work spending his morning tweet-bitching about anything and everything, because that is what the president does on Mondays.
How much longer until November of 2020?
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