Oh Lucy what have we done now! Oh, we have justMISUSED and MISCONTEXTED words from the Independent Women's Forum's senior contraception correspondent, by not quoting them from the original source (Andrea Peyser) when she did not include them in her column! Not only did we not include Lisa Schiffren's invisible words that did not appear in Andrea Peyser's story, but we did not point out that they are even stupider than the ones Peyser did include! We of course regret the error! Let's go to the email of Victoria R. Coley, IWF communications director!

Rebecca,

You recently pulled quotes from a New York Post story on the distribution of Plan B without parental consent for your Wonkette post 'Andrea Peyser Wants to Knock Up Your Pre-Teen.' The quotes you used from IWF Senior Fellow Lisa Schiffren are taken out of context in your Wonkette post; Schiffren's quotes (full text below) are in response to young girls receiving the morning-after pill – Plan B – in school without parental consent NOT to young women going to their student health centers to get on birth control.

Guys, we had best suss this out!

Below is Lisa Schifferen's complete quote sent to New York Post's Andrea Peyser. I'd appreciate it if you would correct your Wonkette post to clarify what Schiffren was referencing.

"I think this is way beyond the purview of public education. It is an outrageous infringement on the rights of parents to care for their children. At worst, it allows for sexual abuse of young girls, with no consequence to the males involved.

That said, we live in a culture that sexualizes girls ridiculously early, which is a boon to boys, but wreaks havoc with their ability to plan their lives and exert control. It leaves parents fighting a rear-guard action against the culture. Many of these girls come from homes where no one is paying attention, and a stressed single mom doesn't have the authority to prevent her daughter's bad choices.

So, while I am opposed to schools handing out contraception, and think it should not be allowed, I imagine that in many cases it will prevent unwanted pregnancies that would lead to abortion or thwarted education/work plans -- both of which are worse. Still, why can't they teach them about pre-intercourse contraception? " - LISA SCHIFFREN, IWF SENIOR FELLOW

In September when reports from the New York City Department of Education were released that 13 public high schools would provide girls as young as 14 with the morning-after pill, without parental consent, through the city's CATCH pilot program, IWF released a statement on the sad commentary of our culture and expressed that parents, not schools, should navigate moral waters.

Regards,

Victoria

Let us look at the part we left out, because of how we misused and miscontexted and misconstrued and such:

It leaves parents fighting a rear-guard action against the culture. Many of these girls come from homes where no one is paying attention, and a stressed single mom doesn't have the authority to prevent her daughter's bad choices.

So, while I am opposed to schools handing out contraception, and think it should not be allowed, I imagine that in many cases it will prevent unwanted pregnancies that would lead to abortion or thwarted education/work plans -- both of which are worse. Still, why can't they teach them about pre-intercourse contraception?

Why, none of that shows up in Andrea Peyser's column (which is what we were blogging about) AT ALL! Why did your Wonket not quote Lisa Schiffren's invisible words that were not in Andrea Peyser's column? Is it because we are the most negligent, or the most malicious? HAHAHA the answer is both, dummy!

Now let us look at how fucking stupid the extendo-quote is:

"Single moms are too stressed to keep their whore daughters from fucking, so the schools should not give them birth control." That is just science fact, we have no complaint with it.

But the next graf, that is our favorite, and we thank Victoria for sending it to us:

So, while I am opposed to schools handing out contraception, and think it should not be allowed, I imagine that in many cases it will prevent unwanted pregnancies that would lead to abortion or thwarted education/work plans -- both of which are worse. Still, why can't they teach them about pre-intercourse contraception?

Lisa Schiffren says she is against schools handing out birth control, but Victoria says she is only talking about Plan B, not schools handing out birth control, even though Lisa Schiffren says that, but also Lisa Schiffren says birth control is better than abortions or teen pregnancy? But she is against it? Because she wants "pre-intercourse contraception"? So the Pill instead of Plan B? But she is against schools handing it out? But why won't schools hand it out? Which they do?

Oh yes your Wonket certainly regrets the error.