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Hellbound


You remember those assholes, Kevin O'Connor and daughter Crystal, who own Memories Pizza in Walkerton, Indiana? Let us quickly refresh you. They said, "No way, none of our pizza will ever be used to consummate a homosexual butt wedding," even though no gays ever get catered pizza for their homosexual butt weddings. Then the internet LITERALLY HOLOCAUSTED them, by leaving them bad Yelp reviews, which led the Good Christian Bigots of America to give them an $840,000 rimjob on GoFundMe. Yeah. THOSE assholes. They are victims of the Gay-Stapo, clearly.

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And now they are even MORE victims, because some wily homosexual pranksters got them to cater a gay wedding COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT, and now the O'Connors have to spend eternity in hell with their real dad, Gay Satan, for their pizza sins. Here's how it happened! So this couple, Robin Trevino and Jason Delgatto, are so gay for each other that they married each other in Iowa in 2009. But they didn't get to celebrate with all their loved ones, so recently, they hatched an evil plan to renew their gay vows all over some delicious Memories Pizza:

[Trevino] drove to Walkerton, where he ordered two pizzas from Crystal O’Connor — who said she would deny service for a same-sex wedding reception after state lawmakers passed the anti-LGBT Religious Freedom Restoration Act in March.

Trevino and Delgatto exchanged vows in a celebration joined by their 1-year-old daughter, and the couple served Memories Pizza to their cheering friends and family.

“Memories Pizza just catered our gay wedding,” Trevino announced as friends shrieked with delight.

Gay trickster demons are our favorite kind of demon. And this is worse than a regular gay wedding. Renewing vows is totally doubling down on a couple's commitment to aggravated gayness, for a really long time!

Anyway, Trevino obviously got this idea because, on top of being a gay demon, he's also a comedian, in Chicago's GayCo Ensemble, which is apparently a group of funny gays being gay and funny. They're doing a show called "50 States Of Gay," which Trevino explains is "honoring the Supreme Court decision which allows same-sex marriage across the country."

Here's a picture of Crystal O'Connor selling Trevino pizza, even though he is a major homo:

And here are the lovey gay-birds, saying "I promise to keep gaying you forever," with children watching!

And here's the happy couple, presenting their gay Memories pizza:

And here are some gays at the reception, eating Christian pizza with their gay mouths and probably thinking about what kind of sins to use their mouths for later:

And since, as we have learned from Kim Davis, this is a heaven or hell issue, this is the lake of fire the Memories Pizza owners' names are now written in:

Hope hell takes GoFundMe bucks!

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Anyway, watch the full video, you will feel an unfamiliar emotion called joy:

[RawStory]
Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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