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It's only January, but the Let's Be Real Dicks To Transgender People contest is already in full swing. Indiana Republican state Sen. Jim Tomes has written hisself a bill, SB 35, which would throw those scary transgender people in jail if they insist on taking whizzes and making boom-boom in bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity:

[T]he bill mandates that any transgender person who uses a public sex-specific restroom, locker room, or shower room that matches their gender identity has committed a “single sex public facility trespass,” which it deems a Class A misdemeanor. A Class A misdemeanor is the highest non-felony charge in Indiana, punishable by up to one year in jail and a fine of up to $5,000 dollars.

[contextly_sidebar id="YjFohEFWMbIoVwYhOfs3QUXSy5crE48q"]Good to see that Houston voters aren't the only ones in America who understand that the greatest threat to American society is when transgender people need to take a leak.

Is this a whole new level of dickitude, to actually say "GO TO JAIL, YOU GROSS GAYGENDERS?" Nope! Turns out this was attempted just last year, in both Texas and Florida, but it failed. And the language in those bills was mighty similar to the words in Sen. Tomes's bill.

Like so, in Texas:

Under HB 1748, it would be a Class A misdemeanor for any individual over the age of 13 to “enter a locker room, shower facility, or toilet facility that is designated for use by persons of a gender that is not the same gender as the individual’s gender.” Under Texas law, a Class A misdemeanor shall be punished by a fine of up to $4,000 and up to a year in jail.

And in Florida:

According to HB 538, a trans person using the proper bathroom would commit a misdemeanor of the first degree, punishable by up to a year in jail or a $1,000 fine. This criminalization would “secure privacy and safety for all individuals.”

[contextly_sidebar id="GylI8CPYYOPaWUWzBfAjgabVbscmcqBr"]Think Progress reports that Tomes's bill also echoes failed bills from Kentucky and Nevada (which left Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore EXTREMELY vulnerable on her "nakedness area"). Gosh, it's almost like some outside organization might be writing these bills, not that rightwingers would ever orchestrate a nationwide campaign like that, no not never.

Tomes, who is being a real fuckin' dick to transgender people, says he is not being a real fuckin' dick to transgender people, in this quote obtained by Fox 59 in Indianapolis:

Shouldn't we also ask about…what about the other sector of society of people that who have all through the decades women been using women’s restrooms and men been using men’s restrooms and kind of like that and kind of expect that level of privacy?

Did this man hire Sarah Palin to make sentences for him, because WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

[contextly_sidebar id="0uEuzk7GbG9xCuRnx0sM1NFnLX7SbTXw"]Tomes's bill also makes it Against The Rules for transgender kids and teenagers to use the school bathrooms and locker rooms of the genders they identify with, but it doesn't say he's going to throw the children in jail, so that's nice of him. As we asked in another piece just a few months back, about ANOTHER fuck the transgenders law in Wisconsin, is that shit even legal in schools under Title IX? The answer then, as now, was not no but fuck no.

Here is the silver lining: According to the wording of SB 35, these new rules would NOT apply to "a facility in a private residence." So DON'T WORRY, TRANSGENDERS, you are still allowed to do the pee pee dance in your own house, or your friend's house maybe, as long as your friend is not Indiana state Sen. Jim Tomes. Besides, most people prefer to do number two at home anyway, so it shouldn't be a big deal to do all the number ones there too, right?

[Think Progress / Indiana SB 35 / Fox 59 via Mediaite]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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