Donate

Insanely Low New Unemployment Numbers Mean Barack Obama Did 9/11

News

Good news! Thenew Bureau of Labor Statistics unemployment report came out, and more Americans are working, the unemployment rate dropped to 7.8%, and jobs numbers were revised upwards in July and August.


Of course, Barry Obama had a bad debate on Wednesday, so how could the economy mysteriously be recovering two days after Obama lost the entire election, friends? It's a CONSPIRACY. At least, that's what a bunch of Republicans are saying. Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you ... BLS Troofers, because of course they are.

Yes. They went in and tinkered a decades-old system to get a possible bump out of a positive jobs report. This is eminently logical. Also, they changed the buttons on Jack Welch's clicker, because he simply cannot get the channel changed from this gonzo teen porn to the Hallmark Channel.

Hahahaha, we kid, Jack Welch is not a pervert, just an insane demagogue.

On Fox News, Stuart Varney agrees.

Makes sense that Obama would keep unemployment above 8% for his entire term, then game the system a month before the election to place unemployment at the insanely low rate of only 7.8% (also known as the magic reelection number, people). Chicago-style politics at its finest.

There is, however, an alternate explanation for all of this, via Washington Examiner "senior writer" (paid intern) Conn Carroll:

Be on the lookout for further evidence of Democrap perfidy - after all, if a concerted effort by Democrats to game the BLS numbers by calling in and reporting that their organic dildo stores were booming with a hundred employees each worked, then by next month MoveOn.org could get the unemployment rate all the way down to, like, 7.7%.

We are sensing a third term for President Obama. Guaranteed.

$
Donate with CC
Screenshot, CNN

If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell. And if that doesn't work, just make shit up.

Talking hairpiece Jay Sekulow went on Chris Cuomo's CNN show Wednesday night to barf out the latest Trumpland nonsense on the Russian WITCH HUNT. Remember way back in May, 2017 when Donald Trump told Lester Holt about that hilarious time he fired James Comey to murder the Russia investigation?

"I was going to fire Comey knowing there's no good time to do it. And in fact when I decided to just do it, I said to myself, I said, 'you know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made up story, it's an excuse by the Democrats for having lost an election that they should have won.'"

Did you think that meant he actually fired Comey TO MURDER THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION? Watch and learn, kids!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

In the words of the great Tammy Wynette, sometimes it's hard to be a woman. This week has been such a time for many of us out there, what with the impending prospect of seeing yet another sex predator who wants to take away our reproductive rights getting confirmed to the highest court in the land. Oh, it's almost like we, and our bodily autonomy, don't even matter at all.

Thankfully, several conservative columnists have graciously taken the time to explain to the rest of us why we should stand by their man. Not for his good, but for our own. Because it will be empowering. So come on gals, let's switch out our sneakers for pumps like the the working gals in 1980s movies, set up our desk salads, and just really lean in to see what they have to say!

First up, we've got Catherine Glenn Foster over at The Federalist, who wants us to know that losing our reproductive rights will empower us beyond our wildest dreams, according to the actual title of her essay.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc