Internet Rage Brigade Saves Bigot Twins From Gay Marxist Bankers
It was shaping up to be a very bad week for Just for Men Frosted Tips twin spokesmodels David and Jason Benham. First, HGTVcancelled a planned house-flipping reality series with the brothers after the network discovered that their real estate business is a lucrative sideline to their main job of wrapping themselves up in a Bible to justify hating anyone who isn’t a straight Christian. Then on Friday morning, Tucker Carlson’s Internet Home for Festering Anal Welts reported that SunTrust Bank had severed its relationship with the brothers’ property business by pulling all of its property listings from Benham Real Estate Group and its various franchises across four states.
Naturally, the Benhams and their supporters saw it as yet one more attempt by the secular liberals to cram their gay agenda down the throats of decent Christian folk. David Benham told Alex Pappas of the Daily Caller, “Keeping us off television wasn’t enough, now this agenda to silence wants us out of the marketplace,” adding
As Americans we find ourselves at a crossroads and are forced with a decision to either stand up or sit down. Evidently, SunTrust’s longstanding commitment to diversity must not include our historic Christian values.
Of course employees at SunTrust had not actually told the brothers why the bank was pulling its listings. They must keep one of those “Jump…to Conclusions” mats in the rectory.
One Benham franchisee in Florida told the Daily Caller, “I believe SunTrust has requested a blanket reassignment of all Benham Brother listings across the nation because of their Christian beliefs.” His evidence? Oh, he didn’t have any, just a letter from a third-party asset management company saying that SunTrust had asked for its listings to be transferred to another broker. But it felt like the real reason is persecution of the Benhams for their religion, and isn’t feeling that something is true the same as it actually being true?
Besides, it would be irresponsible not to speculate and get the screeching howler monkeys who populate Twitter worked up into a froth. After approximately four hours of being bombarded by angry wingnuts threatening to close their accounts and boycott the bank, SunTrust reversed its decision, announcing that it would continue to list properties with the Benhams after all. The bank also put out a press release blaming the snafu on the third-party vendor and reaffirming its policy of not discriminating against anyone for their religious beliefs.
Not being a paranoid jackass with a persecution complex the size of the Holy Land, yr Wonkette is inclined to think this really was just some bureaucratic fuckup. It makes absolutely zero sense for SunTrust to wreck its business relationship with the Benhams and bring on bad publicity for itself. SunTrust is a regional bank operating only in the South, so we’re guessing its executives know better than to get on the wrong side of the Christian conservatives who likely make up an enormous percentage of its customer base. And there has been no outcry that we have been able to find from the gay community about the bank’s relationship with the Benhams, no demand for it to divest itself of the brothers’ business. Besides which, it’s a bank and bigots’ money is worth as much as everyone else’s.
Frankly, we don’t give a tinned shit about SunTrust working with the Benhams, even while we continue to find the twins’ beliefs and statements about gays and Muslims and everything else to be utterly loathsome and insulting to decent society. We wouldn’t have given a tinned shit if SunTrust really had pulled its business over the Benhams’ rampant homophobia. What we would have given a tinned shit about is if SunTrust had pulled its business and then caved into pressure from the right and reversed itself in about four hours. Because if you really are picking a side on principle, then you should stick to it no matter how much Dana Loesch and Glenn Beck whine about you on the radio.