Iowa Freedom Summit To Gather Most Of America's Rightwing Idiots In One Place

Oh, dear lord, Iowa is going to be like a superdense mass of Dumb this weekend, as Rep. Steve King and Citizens United host the "Iowa Freedom Summit" -- kind of a Moronic Convergence of rightwing political hacks all coming together to hang out with the man who proclaimed that DREAM Act kids were mostly "drug mules with thighs calves the size of cantaloupes" [how quickly we forget!] and who fretted about the president hosting a "deportable" at the State of the Union. [contextly_sidebar id="ysAqz4TqBmVZEEsWQZ1dDRNKJCBLAlTj"]

Just look at this lineup of some of the confirmed speakers (we use the term loosely):

We would never, ever dream of suggesting that you print that out, mount it on a cork backing, and put it up in the basement as a dart board. That would be a very rude thing to do.

In addition to the rightwing stars pictured above, the confab will include Carly Fiorina, Jim DeMint, Joni Ernst, John Bolton, and the empty chair that Clint Eastwood yelled at during the 2012 Republican convention. Following the same principle as the State of the Union, the League of Rightwing Stupid has designated Louie Gohmert as the designated survivor; he'll stay home in case the venue is hit with a nuclear attack, or if the combined null-space of negative intellect collapses into a continent-devouring singularity.

And don't you dare suggest that any of these fine people aren't serious about national politics. Even Mama Grizzly insists that she's COMPLETELY SERIOUS about maybe thinking about giving consideration to exploring the possibility of running in 2016:

“Yeah, I mean, of course, when you have a servant’s heart, when you know that there is opportunity to do all you can to put yourself forward in the name of offering service, anybody would be interested,” Palin told ABC News' Neal Karlinsky while serving wild boar chili to the homeless in Las Vegas Thursday.

When asked again if she could be “possibly” interested in a presidential campaign, she answered, “We definitely had enough of seeing that -- America has had enough of seeing that -- sign on the Oval Office door saying, 'No Girls Allowed.' I know that.”

In other words, keep writing checks to SarahPAC, you gullible fools patriots!

The crowd is expected to be a roughly equal mix of enthusiastic Tea Partiers and Democratic opposition researchers hoping to capture the featured speakers saying something inflammatory on videotape, a task that experienced political gamers liken to "playing on the 'easy' setting."

The event will also draw a number of immigration activists, who plan to confront the potential candidates, including Erika Andiola, who in August starred in a viral video of herself confronting King and Sen. Rand Paul over King's support for rescinding the president's Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals policy. King lectured Andiola and a friend about "respect for the law" for several minutes after Rand Paul got up and left after a single bite of his hamburger: [contextly_sidebar id="uNsbUtE6TioF8Jd9miNC1OTKNZFyX6DP"]

Should be a fun weekend.

[Politico / Iowa Freedom Summit]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc