This Iowan stole Newt Gingrich's hand and wouldn't give it back until the adulterer said he was sorry. We're not sure if the whiny "I didn't do anything to Paul Ryan!" or the smile stuck on Newt's shiny-headed wife's face during all of this is the best part.

Fuhrman told The Register afterward that he just happened to be at the hotel. He said he’s upset with Gingrich’s disagreements with parts of the House Republican Medicare reform plan.

Fuhrman said he’s a solid Republican but that Ginrich “is a jerk.”

“I’m a strong Republican but he’s an embarrassment to our party,” Fuhrman said.

Just happened to be at the hotel, sure. Take a closer look in that man's shirt pocket. Zoom! Enhance! What do you see? A SLICE OF PIZZA. Herman Cain paid him off! That wily pizza man is going to be our nation's last black president for sure. [Des Moines Register]