Let's get this important question out of the way


Now that Ben Carson is giving Donald Trump a run for his (or someone's) money, DJ Trump is pretending to take Carson's claims about his past as a violent thug seriously, although Trump conveniently leaves out the pivot point where Carson finds Jesus, peace, and a life of success as a brain surgeon and nutritional supplements pitchman. By golly, if Carson described his younger self as pathological, then Trump's determined to see what mileage he can get out of it.

Is Ben Carson A Child Molester?

No.

How Do You Know?

Good point. We don't. But we'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this one.

How About Crazy? Is Ben Carson Crazy?

Quite possibly. During an interview on CNN Thursday, Erin Burnett asked whether it's fair to question Carson's claims about his past, and Trump went into his familiar "I don't know, I'm just asking" patter, pretending we may as well assume Carson was telling the truth:

Don't forget, this is in his book. I'm not bringing up anything that's not in his book. You know, when he says he went after his mother and wanted to hit her in the head with a hammer, that bothers me. I mean, that's pretty bad. When he says he's "pathological" -- and he says that in the book, I don't say that, and again, I'm not saying anything, I'm not saying anything other than pathological is a very serious disease. And he said he's pathological, somebody said he has pathological disease, other people said he said in the book, and I haven't seen it, I know it's in the book, that he's got a pathological temper or temperament, that's a big problem, because you don't cure that.

So Is Donald Trump Saying Ben Carson Is Pathological?

He's not saying it, he's just saying he knows it's in the book. That's pretty serious, don't you think? Pathological, though? Well, who can say?

Why Did Donald Trump Call Ben Carson A Child Molester?

He didn't, exactly. He merely shared his unscripted afterthought to his musings about Ben Carson's pathological temper:

You don't cure these people. You don't cure a child molester. There's no cure for it. Pathological, there's no cure for that.

Does Donald Trump Think 'Pathological' Is A Disease And Not An Adjective?

You'd have to ask him. We only know what he said, which is, "Pathological, there's no cure for that." And that's like child molesters, who can't be cured. That's what he said, not what we said.

Does Anyone Think Donald Trump Is Pathological?

Carly Fiorina seems to. On Thursday, Fiorina wrote on Facebook:

Donald, sorry, I've got to interrupt again. You would know something about pathological. How was that meeting with Putin? Or Wharton? Or your self funded campaign? Anyone can turn a multi-million dollar inheritance into more money, but all the money in the world won't make you as smart as Ben Carson.

Is Carly Fiorina A Pathologist?

No, she is a pathological liar and a failed CEO, but she knows an opportunity to inject herself into the news cycle when she sees one.

Is Donald Trump As Smart As Ben Carson?

You realize that's like asking whether a rice cake is as spicy as Cream of Wheat.

Did Donald Trump Re-Enact The Knife-And-Belt Scene From Carson's Memoir At A Campaign Rally Thursday?

Yes he did. And it's on video:

He lunged that knife into the belly of his friend but lo and behold, it hit the belt. It hit the belt! And the knife broke! Give me a break. Give me a break. Give me a break. The knife broke.

Trump then stepped out from behind the lectern and mimed the supposed attack, demonstrating how, in any real knife attack on Donald Trump's belt, the belt buckle would be very unlikely to stay at a perfect angle to break a knife blade.

Did Donald Trump Tempt Fate During This Forensic Demonstration?

He did say to the audience, "Anybody have a knife? Want to try it on me? Believe me, it ain’t gonna work." We should note that Donald Trump now has Secret Service protection, so we should hope that there were no knives near the stage. After his little sketch, Trump asked, "How stupid are the people of Iowa? How stupid are the people of the country to believe this crap?"

How Stupid Are The People Of Iowa?

In the most recent Real Clear Politics average of polls (Oct. 29-Nov. 4), Donald Trump and Ben Carson are nearly tied for first place in Iowa. We're just saying.

How Long Until This Goddamn Election Ends?

Long enough to induce pathological loathing.

[TPM / Mediaite / RawStory / Real Clear Politics]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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