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How Drunk Is Meghan McCain RIGHT NOW, On A Scale Of Palin To Wonkette To Dana Rohrabacher?

Media/Entertainment

Meghan McCain, whom Wonkette recently exposed as John McCain's secret daughter, is the subject of an Elle magazine profile that is not in any way worth your time. The only interesting factoid revealed during the trip on the Megs McCabe Borderline Express is that she sometimes shows up drunk or hungover ALLEGEDLY for whatever it is she contributes to "The View" ... ALLEGEDLY. By her. She alleges.

[McCain] remembers one night last year when she went out with her colleagues for drinks and got tipsy. The next morning, when it was time to film, she carried the convivial attitude of the previous night onto the show, and a crass line slipped out of her mouth: "I call her Crooked Hillary!" she said. "I hate Hillary Clinton."

"Tipsy" is an interesting word choice. Doris Day got "tipsy." Megs McCabe likes to spend her free time at the creek, doing Jell-O shots and shooting guns. That lady (Wonkette is not judging) gets smashed.


Here's Megs McCabe sliming Hillary:

McCain feels real bad about her (ALLEGED) (BY HER) day drinking and Mean Girl commentary. She later apologized for "contributing to the polarization of this country."

MCCAIN: I really regret saying that. [Clinton] was friends with my dad. It's really not fair.

According to a copy of an Arizona birth certificate we've uncovered, McCain's father was the late senator John McCain. It's not that Hillary Clinton deserves respect because she is a former first lady, New York senator, and secretary of State (or even just "a human being"). No, her total value is that she was buddies with Megs McCabe's daddy. What's "really not fair" is that McCain can (ALLEGEDLY) (BY HER) host the show drunk and we've been watching it sober all this time like a sucker.

McCain also likes Joe Biden because he was on her dad's Christmas card list. Will she vote for him in 2020? Hard to say because McCain claims she's only become more conservative since Donald Trump was elected because liberals made her do it.

MCCAIN: No Republican is good enough for a certain group of people. All Republicans are evil to a certain segment of the media. And you become more tribal, and more territorial of your people and what you represent. And that has certainly happened to me.

It is a dark time for Republicans. Their very bodily autonomy is in peril. Even their children are rounded up and jailed in concentration camps. Wait, no, that's not right. Republicans are doing fine. Some have cushy jobs on "The View." We're not sure what Megs McCabe is going on about, because the media falls all over itself to make excuses for the people who continue to support the racist in chief. No one's said "all Republicans are evil," even when they keep doing evil things. Besides, conservatism is an ideology not a "tribe." Minorities have ample reason to be territorial in the Trump era. Republicans need to stop whining.

McCain did fiercely defend her "tribe" yesterday when Rep. Adam Schiff appeared on "The View" to discuss Robert Mueller's testimony to Congress. She parroted a steaming pile of rightwing talking points about the Russia investigation.

MCCAIN: You have claimed for years now you have a smoking gun of evidence of collusion. Your quote is, "ample evidence of collusion." You said that, but Robert Mueller and his investigation found that there was no collusion.

Schiff patiently explained to Megs McCabe that the Mueller report did not state there was "no collusion." We wonder if maybe Schiff didn't have better things to do with his time. He's not related to John McCain or anything, but he is still somewhat important.

MCCAIN: So can you share with us right here, right now on "The View," the evidence that you have and explain why Mueller was wrong yesterday.

Schiff pointed out that the evidence of Trump's crimes are in plain sight -- not even hidden as well as the most half-assed Easter eggs. McCain and her Republican "tribe" can't find the evidence because they aren't bothering to look. Or maybe McCain is just bombed again ... ALLEGEDLY.

[Elle]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He recently fled Seattle, where he did theatre work for Book-It Rep and Cafe Nordo.

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