Donate

IMPORTANT CHUCKLEFUCK UPDATE!

It would appear that one of Rudy Giuliani's Chucklefucks, Lev Parnas, is signaling he may be ready to flip. Or, you know, "flip." Partially, in a limited way, at least for the purposes of the Trump impeachment inquiry. Remember that Parnas is part of the same cohort of criming idiots that includes the imprisoned Paul Manafort, who "flipped" for Robert Mueller but actually just kept lying the whole time, and the indicted Ukrainian oligarch Dmitry Firtash, who's been assessed by US law enforcement to be way high up in the Russian mob. In fact, it would appear that the Chucklefucks -- or at least Lev Parnas, if not Igor Fruman -- are being bankrolled by Dmitry Firtash.

Oh yeah, and Parnas is tied up with Donald Trump, who is also a criminal. So take this with a grain of salt!

The New York Times reports that Lev Parnas has "broken ranks" and is now talking to impeachment investigators in Congress. The paper of record additionally reports that this is partially happening because Donald Trump said in public that he didn't even know the Chucklefucks, and that made Parnas very :(


Anyway, he has added some new lawyers, and maybe he would like to cooperate with Congress now.

"We are willing to comply with the subpoena to the extent that it does not violate any appropriate privilege that Mr. Parnas may properly invoke," said Joseph A. Bondy, who along with Edward B. MacMahon, Jr. now represents Mr. Parnas.

And maybe he might take the Fifth. But look at him, sitting there in Congress like a good little Lev!

"The bottom line is he'll sit in the chair and he may invoke the privilege and maybe he will get immunity given that this is a matter of some import to national security," Bondy added.

Ooh! Ooh! Immunity! Ollie North-style!

And why is this happening, New York Times, at least partially?

"Mr. Parnas was very upset by President Trump's plainly false statement that he did not know him," said Mr. Bondy, whose client has maintained that he has had extensive dealings with the president.

HOW DONALD TRUMP SAY THAT? And after Parnas and Fruman allegedly did so much campaign finance violatin' for Trump, routing money from "Ukrainian government official" through a pro-Trump PAC and routing money from "Russian businessman" to various Republican politicians? And after they worked so hard with Rudy Giuliani to get the ambassador to Ukraine unceremoniously removed from her post without cause and also to dig up manufactured fake Ukrainian dirt on Joe Biden to assist with Trump's re-elect? That's how Trump thanks them? UNFAIR!


Of course, every time one of Trump's closest associates becomes an indicted person, they become the "coffee boy" in Trump's eyes, or a person Trump has never met, so none of this should be surprising to anybody who is not an idiot, but the Chucklefucks are idiots, so ...

Here is more actual quote from Parnas's new lawyer:

"Imagine just the lay of the land: you give a bunch of money, you're sitting with him at apparently intimate dinners, you're seen waving at him at fundraisers and him waving back, you're somehow recruited by Rudy Giuliani and after all that — spending a heck of a lot of money on Rudy Giuliani traveling or whatever — you're sitting in a prison cell waiting to be bailed out and you learn the president has completely distanced himself from you. Of course, you'd be upset," Bondy said.

Lev Chucklefuck Parnas teach YOU to say you have never met Lev Chucklefuck Parnas, Donald Trump!

When Parnas and Fruman were first subpoenaed by Congress, they flipped Congress the bird, and it would seem that they took that opportunity to book a one-way ticket to Vienna. Unfortunately, the feds decided to wait at Dulles for them to make their escape and put them in some friendly handcuffs. At that time, they were represented by former Trump lawyer John "COMIC SANS IS AWESOME" Dowd. According to the Times, Dowd still reps Fruman, but as we said, Parnas has these new lawyers.

Indeed, Dowd had previously told Congress, in a "COMIC SANS IS AWESOME" letter, that not only might some of Congress's document requests be protected by attorney-client privilege -- because of their association with Rudy Giuliani and also the rat-haired Fox News lawyers Joseph DiGenova and Victoria Toensing -- but also might fall under executive privilege, because see, they helped Rudy Giuliani with his own pro bono helping of Donald Trump, therefore ipso facto carry the two, spin around a few times blindfolded in the dark, EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE!

LOL, and not just because it's written in Comic Sans.

So yes. Lev Parnas, who has been working as a VERY HIGHLY PAID "translator" for the Fox News Legal Team Of Rathairs in their representation of the Russian mobbed-up Dmitry Firtash, and who has been also working for Rudy Giuliani -- and by extension Donald Trump! -- in their efforts to gin up fake news dirt about the Bidens in Ukraine, might sit in Congress and at the very least make a few Chucklefarts, at least when he's not pleading the Fifth.

The same Lev Parnas who originally hired Rudy Giuliani to help with his very real fraud-fighting company called "Fraud Guarantee," which Parnas -- we are not making this up, it was in the Wall Street Journal -- literally named "Fraud Guarantee" so that when people Googled "Lev Parnas" and "fraud," they would find his company, instead of maybe finding his frauds.

And the very same Lev Parnas who parlayed that experience into everything he is indicted and on house arrest for now, including becoming ... a member of Donald Trump's legal team, somehow?

Anyway, we will see what this all really means and if it means Parnas is truly making a shift or if he's full of shit and yankin' chains, it's probably that, the end.

[New York Times / Politico]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like YOU. If you love Wonkette, SUPPORT WONKETTE FINANCIALLY.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc