Super smart Nevada Assemblywoman and actual candidate for Congress Michele Fiore caused a bit of a stir last week when she said in a TV interview that it's a really good idea to draw your gun on cops if they point a gun at you, because self-defense. Well! That is not what she meant at all; that is not it, at all. So in an interview that aired Monday, Fiore sat down with KTNV reporter David Schuman to clarify she would never, ever draw a gun on REAL law enforcement officers, only on the fake wannabe cops who work for the federal government, who actually are not law enforcement officers at all because she says so.

Fiore carefully explains the original ThinkProgress story on her comments got it all wrong: she'd only pull her gun on Bureau of Land Management agents, who she says have no real authority:

We were talking about the BLM, which [rolls eyes] -- the more and more I learn about the BLM, they’re not federal officers, but we were calling them officers, we were calling them officers of the law -- and they are not. What they are, what the BLM is, is they are wannabe cops, untrained and rogue agents. The BLM is nothing more than a bureaucratic agency of terrorism that terrorizes Americans, especially ranchers. They literally have waged a war on all of our rurals and all of our ranchers.

Therefore when KLAS reporter Steve Sebelius asked Fiore about pulling a gun on "a duly authorized law enforcement officer who is just out there doing his job," and Fiore replied that of course she'd never point a firearm at an officer of the law, "unless they pointed their firearm at me," she was only referring to the fake cops of the BLM, who are not even legitimate law enforcement officers, according to the highly trained legal mind of Michele Fiore. Duh. Stupid lying liberals!

In the very best "balanced" news coverage, KTNV's Schuman does at least do some minimal fact checking, although he frames it as a difference of opinion:

Fiore calls them "unofficial wannabes," but the U.S. Department of the Interior website says differently. [link added by Wonkette]

The page says, "The BLM fields a force of approximately 200 Law Enforcement Rangers (uniformed officers) and 70 Special Agents (criminal investigators) who enforce a wide range of laws and regulations in the prevention, detection, and investigation of crimes affecting public lands resources."

So, you know, that's just like their opinion, man. And the opinion of the federal courts, which haven't yet seen fit to invalidate arrests by BLM rangers, no matter how much Michele Fiore and Ammon Bundy insist the federal government can't own land, so the BLM can't enforce laws on federal land.

But the really important thing to know is that Michele Fiore knows she'd never have to draw a gun on a Las Vegas cop, because she always obeys the law, and any officer that might approach her with a drawn weapon is merely mistaken, so she'd be cool and comply with the cops, who'd only pull a gun on her if they had a really good reason:

If a dispatch call goes out and says, you know, "We're looking for a murder victim [sic] driving a silver four-door Jag, you know, with a license plate with 'GUNS' on it," you know, so, that'd be my car! And if he was literally pulling me over suspect [sic] thinking that I was a murder suspect, his gun might be drawn, which would be okay.

A Jag, henghhhh? Guess she saved up a whole lot from her (alleged) Medicaid frauding before her grifty home-health company was shut down because she never paid her taxes.

Fiore has another very good reason not to fear the real cops of the real Metro police, because she's boning one. As RawStory puts it, ever so delicately,

She laughed at the idea that “real law enforcement” from Metro police would ever point their guns at her, saying that she had an “unofficial romantic friend” on the force.

“Metro is not going to be pointing a gun at me, period,” Fiore said. “You know, if any of our Metro police officers are pointing anything at me, it definitely isn’t their gun.”

She smacked her lips suggestively but declined to offer specifics about this “romantic friend.”

“I’m a public figure, and I don’t think exposing a lover is the right thing to do,” Fiore said.

Not that we have a problem with private sexxytimes, but your cop fuckbuddy is not necessarily the best source of legal information. We'd also point out that not all private citizens are afforded the protection (and apparent constant arousal) of the police force thanks to having a fuckbuddy on the force.

Still, it's an idea that might be adopted by folks seeking to reduce police violence against unarmed people: Become friends with benefits with your local LEO to protect yourself. It could bring a whole new meaning to the slogan "Fuck The Police."

[KNTV via RawStory / KLAS / ThinkProgress / Michele Fiore on Facebook]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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