It Is Your Monthly Reminder, Gentle Wonkette Readers, To #PayTheFuckUp
Hello, Wonkers! It is once again that time of the month where we cry poor, andask you for money, and remind you how #sad your life would be without us, because of how you would be dead or in jail like a common Ted Nugent. Do I feel guilty about asking you for money in a week when we took off most of a Monday to go outside and frolic and not work like we are President of the United States Donald Trump? Pfft, like there is anything in the universe I DON'T feel guilty about! And that is one of them!
SHUT UP, ME, WE NEEDED IT.
You're not terribly behind this month; based on this month's #loveofferings so far, and how it always slows down right at the end, we're probably under our monthly nut of $30,000 (WHAT? RIDICULOUS!) by about $5000, which you are good and will make up because YOU LOVE US and WE LOVE YOU and we LOVE EACH OTHER, WITH MONEY (FROM YOU).
Here, have a picture of my grandbaby. She is sort of like your grandbaby, too, except she is mine.
Now have a picture of my daughter, in the SAME OUTFIT, #sharing, JUST LIKE YOU DO, WITH US.
And that is why you will give us money, see you next month, the end.
Wonkette is ad-free, investment-banker-free, don't sell your shit to ANYONE, and is supported SOLELY by readers like you. We love you.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.