It's A GOP Clown Car Sunday!
episode 2 car GIF

With just 15 days before Election Day and early voting happening in many states, it seems the GOP got desperate and sent out a lot of its monthly quota of stupid to the Sunday shows. So let's dive right in!

We'll start with Fox's "Sunday Morning Futures" hosted by Maria Bartiromo, which Liz already covered the broad strokes of here. But no matter, as this was so stupid it deserves to be featured twice. Seems Bartiromo Wisconsin GOP Senator Ron Johnson (the Senate's Dumbest Republican) wanted to add some some more Russian disinformation to Rudy Giuliani/Steve Bannon's failed sequel "But Their Emails 2: Back In The Habit."

Let me get this straight: Bartiromo and Johnson are using Russian disinformation tactics (again) to now insinuate that there is child porn on the alleged Hunter Biden laptop hard drive? The very same hard drive full of child porn that apparently Rudy Giuliani held onto it for a year, didn't call the police or FBI, then shared it with the New York Post after Fox News told him to fuck off? Is that the new theory? Rudy might have some explaining to do.

Johnson and Bartiromo are full of shit. Johnson says he "won't speculate" about the alleged child porn laptop, then proceeds to speculate while insinuating he uncovered some of this during his laughably fruitless Biden investigation. He even channels his best Roger Stone as he warns of "things to be revelaled in the next couple of days." (Is Podesta's "time in the barrel" also coming soon, Ron?) If Biden gets elected, I doubt Johnson will get a pardon for HIS Russian collusion.

Over on CNN's "State Of The Union," Jake Tapper had requested a real guest who matters:

Instead Tapper ended up with Bride Of the Dumbest Failson, Lara Trump, who defended those instigating threats at Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer and then mocked Joe Biden's stuttering history. After claiming she didn't know about that, she shifted from mocking his stuttering to diagnosing Biden with "cognitive decline." Tapper rightfully pointed out the irony of this:

Jake Tapper cuts off Lara Trump

TAPPER: I think that you were mocking his stutter.

L. TRUMP: … I had no idea Joe Biden...

TAPPER: Yes, I think you were mocking his stutter.

L. TRUMP: Of course I wasn't, Jake. Wow.

TAPPER: And I think you have absolutely no standing to diagnose somebody's cognitive decline, especially...

L. TRUMP: I'm not diagnosing. I'm saying that we see the Joe Biden of today is not the Joe Biden of five years ago, of 10 years ago.

TAPPER: I would think that somebody in the Trump family would be more sensitive to people who do not have medical licenses diagnosing politicians from afar. Plenty of people have diagnosed your father from afar. And I'm sure it offends you -- your father-in-law from afar. I'm sure it offends you. You don't have any standing to say...

L. TRUMP: I'm not diagnosing him. What I'm saying, Jake...

TAPPER: You just talked about a cognitive decline.

Lara Trump then tried to concern troll Tapper, who responded by throwing shade:

L. TRUMP: I genuinely feel sorry for Joe Biden.

TAPPER: I appreciate it. I'm sure it was from a place of concern. We all -- we all believe that...

Over on NBC's "Meet The Press", Chuck Todd had on Secretary of Health and Human Services Alex Azar. Todd asked the softest of softballs, and Azar made the lamest of excuses:

C'mon, Azar! You're gonna get in trouble when Trump realizes that comparing us to other western democracies who, despite some spikes, have gotten so much closer back to some semblance of normal life than we have is a bad look. Especially when places like New Zealand elect leaders that believe in science in a landslide.

On ABC's "This Week," RNC Chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel tried real hard to defend Trump by throwing elbows at Nebraska GOP Senator Ben Sasse.

MCDANIEL: Ben's been there for a long time. It's not surprising. It's the only time he gets news is when he criticizes this president.

I'm not an expert but the RNC Chair throwing a GOP senator under the bus seems even less wise than defending a sinking president. Especially considering Mitch McConnell's sudden concern for passing a Covid-19 stimulus and John Cornyn now saying he was secretly "in The Resistance" but no one believes him. Just saying.

Speaking of RNC Chairs, CBS' "Face The Nation" had McDaniel's predecessor and Trump's first Chief of Staff Reince Priebus. Priebus said the quiet part out loud while saying that he wasn't worried about Trump losing:

Reince Priebus says he's "not at all" worried that Trump could

PRIEBUS: I'm concerned about early vote. I'm concerned about absentee ballot voting, but I'm always worried about early vote and absentee ballot voting. [...] But look, you know, early vote and where we're- we're at in a pandemic and having five times more people vote in Florida than ever before, these are unprecedented times.

Republicans REALLY hate democracy.

But good ole Reince wasn't all doom and gloom for his old boss! He shared this encouraging tidbit:

PRIEBUS: Trump is winning in these rural parts of the country in unprecedented numbers.

That'll be very reassuring when open land and livestock can cast votes. I'm sure that will help against losing every other category.

Finally we end where we started, with another trip to Fox News. This time we go to "Fox News Sunday" where Chis Wallace hosted Trump idiot Jason Miller, who we believe is the Sebastian Gorka of Brad Parscales. Striving to take the top spot of Worst Miller, after being nestled between Stephen Miller and Dennis Miller for years, Miller actually argued about the Bidens that "voters hate it when people make a bunch of money trading off of their family name." That's it, that's the joke.

Well, that surely was a lot of idiots on the Sunday shows. See you next week for more idiots!

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Michael Mora

Your friendly neighborhood Puerto Rican Political Freelance Writer for @wonkette. Pop Culture observer, Amateur Movie reviewer & Comics fan. Former Active Duty Marine. All opinions are mine only.


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