331 Comments
User's avatar
FlownOver, Unraptured's avatar

And its brain the size of a pea.

Expand full comment
FlownOver, Unraptured's avatar

And when you're too stupid to explain, you're just flat-out fucked.

Expand full comment
Bageled Mind Virus's avatar

And look where he is now! in the NBA hall of fame! bet nobody saw that coming when they saw that pitch.

Expand full comment
Kooolest G's avatar

When you’re a farmer the cows just let you do it, grab em by the teats

Expand full comment
Mo's avatar

I’m ANGRY I even know who Steve Cortes, Jason Miller and Katrina Pierson are. I want that brain space back!

Expand full comment
SterWonk's avatar

I presume you're officiating something?

Expand full comment
Zap's avatar

Been a while, really enjoyed that album.

Expand full comment
Zap's avatar

AOT, K?

Expand full comment
Nicola Leslie's avatar

Pretty sure Devin Mooones has at least one of those priorities sorted.

Expand full comment
The Librarian's avatar

I don’t know why anyone would bother to interview Lara Trump. She’s got to be the dumbest of all the Trumps. Credit where credit is due.

Expand full comment
Louise James's avatar

He's a national treasure!

Expand full comment
Cliff Hendroval's avatar

Back when I rode the train in and out Manhattan every workday I could always tell if a rider was reading the NYP even if I couldn't see their paper. Their lips were moving as they read.

Expand full comment
Notreelyhelping's avatar

One of the best things about winning a wave election is counting all of the ballots. Besides that it’s part of the, uh, deal (one vote per adult), if you’re winning and the patterns continue throughout the process, you get to beat your opponent over and over and over again.

For example, even if Biden is declared the winner on Election Night, the counting will continue. And as each ballot, each renewed vote count, is announced, Trump will feel another jolt to his ego.

Bam! Another state.Bam! Yet another state. Bam! And look, there’s another GOP Senator going down. To defeat.Bam!

This could go on for...weeks.

Expand full comment
revenant's avatar

Are you kidding me? The Village, once it has anointed a Republican spokeweasel, almost never turns their back on them. Par example; WTF relevance do the opinions of single-term EX-Senator Rick Santorum (hi, Google!) have on anysubject? Why is Newt Fucking Gingrich STILL a thing that we may encounter on screen or radio? Once admitted into the system, they are each and all going to be with us until death does us part, like herpes.

Expand full comment
Ill-Advised's avatar

Remember your grandmother told you that if you kept making that face, it would freeze that way?Grandma knew.

Expand full comment
Starsky Hutch's avatar

Jason Miller has a balloon-shaped head.

Expand full comment