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WHAT IF THEY WERE MISSILE NOSE CONES ALL ALONG????

It's been a great year for Christian Christmas, what with the restoration of Americans' ability to say "Merry Christmas," which had literally disappeared from our vocabulary before Donald Trump's "presidency." Wingnuts everywhere have decided that the best way to trigger the libs is to say "Merry Christmas," because those are Republican Worship Words now. Here's rightwing media dipwad Dan Bongino explaining last week how best to celebrate the nativity of the Prince of Peace:

Now don't you go rolling your eyes and saying that's the dumbest thing ever, and that the words "Merry Christmas" don't bother you in the least. Admit it: You don't like it when someone's yelling "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" in your face, because you hate America.


Donald Trump is celebrating the Sacred Baby Festival in his own way, by holing up in Xanadu Mar-a-Lago and palling around with Jerry Falwell Jr., who dropped by to reassure Trump that real Christians think he's the best, no matter what those radical liberals at Christianity Today say.

Falwell posed for pics with the "president" Friday night, a day after explaining another Reason for the Season: Impeachment is no big, and will actually backfire on the Democrats by killing 200,000 people, many of them dying slowly and painfully of burns and radiation sickness. Look, that's what he said!

You know, considering that Pearl Harbor was a surprise attack that nobody in America saw coming, we have some doubts about the validity of that historical analogy all around.

Not that anyone on Team Trump had a problem welcoming Falwell at Swampy Trash Palace the next evening, because Christmas is a time of celebration and looking forward to your enemies being obliterated by nuclear fire:

Look, there's nothing at all offensive here. It's just a smart bit of historical analysis, because when the Imperial Japanese Navy impeached FDR at Pearl Harbor, it was only natural that four years later -- the exact length of a presidential term! -- American voters dropped a Fat Man on them, along with a Little Boy, too. Not that we're saying anything about Donald Trump's child, because that would be in bad taste because he's not a loud troublemaking girl.

In other Trumpy Christmas news, the White House social media team marked the first night of Hanukkah yesterday with some fun presidential trivia!

The tweet was part of a thread promoting the dumb "White House Advent Calendar," which lets you count down the days to the Sacred Baby Festival by clicking on dates in December and reading some presidential holiday trivia, see? (The answer, by the way, is Jimmy Carter, who lit the Lafayette Park menorah in 1979. Bill Clinton had the first menorah inside the White House in 1993, and Dubya began holding annual Hanukkah parties in 2001. Now you don't have to click.)

Apparently not a single person involved in the project pointed out that Hanukkah is kind of a Jewish holiday, and that maybe its inclusion on an "Advent Calendar," an artifact of Christian Christmas, is kind of problematic. Why would they? Hanukkah is really just part of Christmas, because Jesus is the reason for the season, and the Jews only make a big whoop out of it because they're jealous. Besides, Jews are simply slow Christians -- they'll eventually get to the New Testament and say, "Oh, wow, what a twist, I'd better convert!" That's probably why Trump invited a couple of anti-Semite preachers to his own White House Hanukkah celebration.

Or maybe the White House team, which has a habit of marking Holocaust Remembrance Day without mentioning Jews, knew exactly what it was doing.

[HuffPo / White House / White House on Twitter]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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