It's A Nice Day For A Wonkette Online Baby Shower! Your Weekly Top Ten.
WONKETTE HAD A BABY, WONKETTE HAD A BABY, WONKETTE HAD A BABY. Hey, did you hear Wonkette had a baby? As you read this, Ms. Donna Rose, daughter of yr Editrix Rebecca and her dashing pixel husband Shy, is on her third full day of being a fully formed, bee-yootiful babby, and her Wonkette uncles and aunt could not be more excited.
So it is time for your Wonkette Online Sunday Baby Shower, did you buy gifts? Don't worry if you didn't, because Donna Rose came right out asking for cash! So, how about we all dig extra deep this week, so Becca and Shy can buy onesies and toys and food and college for Ms. Donna Rose, to prepare her for one day being your overlord/President of US America/WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO BE. Won't you give $5, $10 or $25, in honor of Donna Rose? It's easy to do! Just click this link and say "here are some of my moneys, and Wonkette should have them, because BABBY."
UPDATE: Everyone, Rebecca here. Shy and Donna Rose and I are home from the hospital, and we love all of you, each and every one. Donna Rose is sleeping in her wagon/bassinet. The dogs are being gentle and quiet. Shy has already been to the store and back for drugs and treats and about eight tubes of Desitin. I am tired and peaceful. We love all of you very much; I feel like you were riding along with us the past ... four??? days. Yes, four. Thank you for being our friends.
Here is Donna in her wagon.
And here is me looking sexier than fuck like ONE DAY after a c-section, because I guess I am magic.
Update update! And Shy would like to share the greatest video EVER.
Now back to Evan for the hard sell. We love you. -- Becca
All right, here are your top ten posts of the week, as chosen by science. If you've already read them, read them again!
1. Because the Duggar story will never die and will always be gross, for the second week in a row, your top post is Megyn Kelly asking the Duggar girls to show her on the doll where the liberal media touched them.
2. The other huge story of the week is that insane cop, who protected the state of Texas from black teenagers at a pool party.
3. What are the Dumb Duggars hiding now? Oh just a new DHS investigation maybe.
4. Sarah Palin went on Fox News to yell at Fox News for molesting the Duggar girls on Fox News. Strange even for Sarah Palin.
5. Jeb Bush knows how to get rid of all the unmarried whore ladies. Make fun of them, in public!
6. What's the worst thing Pat Robertson has ever said? This is. Just click it.
7. Donald Trump sharted in RAGE at that mean Fox News bully Charles Krauthammer. RAGE! This was a Trump-grade temper tantrum for the ages.
8. Gov. Sam Brownback: If judges don't rule the way I like, I'll just take all their judging moneys away. SO THERE!
10. The glorious return of Sundays With The Christianists, where Dok told us all about an exciting kids book, for kids, about H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks HELL. You'll want to read it to YOUR babbies.
You Wonkers sure are good at picking stories!
Oh, and you should sign up for the Wonkette newsletter, so that you can get a secret gay love note from your Wonkette every day! (Mostly.)
OH, and did you know you can put Bernie Sanders on your sexy tits or man chests? YES YOU CAN. Buy the tee-shirt in the Wonkette online swag emporium, where you will also find Elizabeth Warren t-shirts and coffee cups and stuff and all the other things! Editrix Rebecca would like to reassure everyone that, even though she has taken her maternity leave, she is still ready and willing to send you all of the things you decide to buy.
Again, your Wonkette loves you very much! If you missed your opportunity above, don’t even worry about doing hard stuff like scrolling up. You can just click THIS link and give us $5, $10 or $25. Or you can give us more. We are not opposed to that!
Okay, now go have a nice Sunday, we will see you on Monday.