It's the annual start of the War On Christmas season. You've all made the leftover turkey into the excellent strata and eaten that, too, and you've very thoughtfully bought NOTHING on Commerce Friday and Teen Wage-Slave Saturday, and you refrained from celebrating Gassing Mothers and Children Sunday, because you are not a monster like Timi Lathrop. And now it is the HashtagGivingTuesday, when you leverage your extra cash into helping other people, only without being all sanctimonious about it because you're better than that (and immune to flattery, too, even though you're much more generous, smarter, and better-looking than others. Have we mentioned you really smell good, too?).

So here, let Yr Wonkette tell you where you should send your generosity, and in the comments you can suggest other worthy causes also too! Many but not all of these are legit tax-deductible charities what you can deduct on your taxes, but you'll want to check the fine print and shit because that's how you should do.

  • Support the migrant parents and kids Trump has declared war on by helping out RAICES, the San Antonio-based nonprofit that has been working to keep immigrant kids and families together. Send money to help pay for lawyers here -- having legal representation is often the biggest factor in preventing deportation. RAICES also provides representation and case management through their "Families Together Fund," and if you want to just make a general contribution, here's the link for that, too!
  • To help kids who are already in immigration detention, there's Kids in Need of Defense, which provides children with representation in immigration court and also lobbies for children's legal interests. Donate here.
  • MOAR LOCAL MOTION: Wonkette Five Dollar Feminist recommends Civic Works, a Baltimore education, job-training and service group. Wonkette Social Media maven Bianca calls your attention to Bean's Cafe, which feeds the homeless and also fixes lunches for kids in Anchorage without preaching at 'em. Wonkette Stephen urges you to donate to the Seattle Public Theater, which aims to build a better world through the arts. Yr Editrix would post a link for her local food bank, where Yr Shypixel volunteers, but they do not even have a webpage, so go find your local food pantry and help/volunteer!
  • Finally, that Trump guy is also at war with journamalism and journamalists, so please help keep the truth coming by throwing your extra gold and silver at Mother Jones, ProPublica, and the Texas Tribune, and give/subscribe to any other publications/websites you know to do hard-hitting, good, investigative journalism. Support press freedom internationally at Reporters Without Borders, too!

OH AND WONKETTE, YOU NEED DICK JOKES AND GOOD WRITING AND JOURNALISM TOO, GIVE WONKETTE THE MONEYS. Heck, you don't even need those links sending you elsewhere; you can just send us money ON THIS VERY PAGE

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You are simply the best, you know that? Of course you do!

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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