Ivanka Trump Is A 40-Year-Old Grown-Ass Complicit Woman

Ivanka Trump turned 40 last year. We didn’t commemorate the occasion because we think she’s terrible and don’t much care for her. We only bring it up now because her father, former insurrectionist in chief Donald Trump, is demanding that the January 6 House Select Committee “please think of the children.” That apparently includes Ivanka Trump, who is officially middle aged.

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Last week, the House committee investigating the January 6 Capitol attack that Donald Trump incited asked Ivanka to voluntarily cooperate in its probe. Her response was classic Ivanka Trump.

“Ivanka Trump just learned that the January 6 Committee issued a public letter asking her to appear,” her spokesperson said. “As the Committee already knows, Ivanka did not speak at the January 6 rally.”

Committee Chair Bennie Thompson’s letter specifically referred to the key moments when the MAGA mob stormed the Capitol. Ivanka Trump was in direct contact with her father at the time. GOP Rep. Liz Cheney, who’s on the committee, has stated that Ivanka pleaded with her father to call off the mob. If true, that’s not evidence Ivanka’s human soul was functioning (or that she has one). According to Michael Wolff’s book Landslide, Ivanka considered the violent insurrection an “optics issue.”


Ivanka Trump obviously has relevant and potentially incriminating information to provide the committee, and that’s probably why Donald Trump is complaining about his family’s perceived persecution. He whined over the phone to columnist Paul Betard at the Washington Examiner:“It's a very unfair situation for my children. Very, very unfair.”

“They are using whatever powers they have. They couldn't care less. They are vicious people,” Trump said of the panel.

He suggested that the commission investigation is a smokescreen to cover for Biden’s missteps. “It's a disgrace, what's going on. They're using these things to try and get people's minds off how incompetently our country is being run. And they don't care. They'll go after children,” Donald Trump said.

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The January 6 committee would also like Ivanka’s brothers, Eric and Donald Jr., to appear. They are both adults and hardly private citizens. Eric threatened GOP lawmakers on January 6, just hours before the attack. Donald Jr. also tried to get Trump to “condemn this shit ASAP” but unlike his sister, he didn’t have direct access to his father. He had to text Mark Meadows. He also spoke at the rally and warned GOP lawmakers to “choose wisely” when it came to certifying the election results.

People with short-term memories have recalled that Trump’s first annual impeachment was because he’d pressured Ukraine’s president to launch an investigation into Joe Biden and his son Hunter. Most of his defense during the Senate impeachment trial amounted to “Hunter Biden’s a bad man.”


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Trump and his stooge Rudy Giuliani tried to make Hunter’s stolen laptop happen, but it wouldn’t fetch. Trump also personally attacked Hunter during his first presidential debate with Joe Biden (the one where he tried to kill him with COVID-19).

The mob has a firm rule against targeting family members who are “civilians,” but Ivanka was very much involved in the family business. She was (an unqualified) senior adviser to Trump. Donald Trump Jr. also played a part in his father’s efforts to overturn the election, which is probably why it failed.

Admittedly, this mob etiquette about family members is from The Godfather, and real gangsters are probably like Trump and don’t hesitate to hit anyone close to their opponents. However, unlike Trump, they wouldn’t whine about it when the tables are turned.

Ivanka Trump is 40. She’s old enough to drive alone at night and roll over on her father.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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