James Comey

Long ago and far away in an America that was not yet made great again, a lady named Hillary Clinton barely escaped living out the rest of her days in solitary because of #EMAILS. But yea, though she didst have a criminal black heart, it was determined that she actually hadn't intentionally shared any state secrets on her #EMAILS, even if a thing or two slipped through because it was improperly marked, or barring that, the little (c) marking was way the fuck down in an email chain where literally nobody looks, unless they are feeling particularly nosy that day and want to see what all the people before them emailed before they were added to the chain. (As secretary of State, Clinton was often added to an email chain way late in the game, because 99.9% of State Department business is not worthy of landing on the secretary's desk and can be handled by underlings.)

In 2016, as the State Department released Hillary Clinton Demon Benghazi emails from her private server, they ended up retroactively classifying some of them after finding from time to time that "Uh oh, there's a secret in here that wasn't marked right!" But she didn't get in trouble for that because THEY WEREN'T CLASSIFIED AT THE TIME.

The point is that INTENT MATTERS with these kinds of things. It is also important to note that US law does not require government officials to be psychic about what might happen IN THE FUTURE.

The day former FBI director James Comey announced Hillary would be avoiding the guillotine yet again, he waxed poetically for one hundred thousand minutes about how Hillz had been "extremely careless" and "a mythological two-headed gargoyle" (he did not say that), before finally announcing that her sins simply didn't rise to the level of "crime."

We bring this up to note that OMG JAMES COMEY DID A HILLARY WITH HIS MEMOS!

At least two of the memos that former FBI Director James Comey gave to a friend outside of the government contained information that officials now consider classified, according to people familiar with the matter, prompting a review by the Justice Department’s internal watchdog.

NOW consider classified. Did not THEN, but do NOW.

Of those two memos, Mr. Comey himself redacted elements of one that he knew to be classified to protect secrets before he handed the documents over to his friend. He determined at the time that another memo contained no classified information, but after he left the Federal Bureau of Investigation, bureau officials upgraded it to “confidential,” the lowest level of classification.

Ooh, James Comey even saw a big secret in one of his memos, so he redacted it himself and gave the unclassified parts to his buddy! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! By the way, FBI directors are able to decide for themselves whether things should be considered classified, but people who got fired from the FBI and are now commoners are not allowed to make such decisions.

Republicans are making hay of this, because Republicans are liars and in their heads James Comey and Hillary Clinton are basically the same person. And of course, we should anxiously await a tweet from Orange Emperor Shit-knuckle, who is lounging his chunk body all over Mar-a-Lago this week, because PFFFFFFFFT, work is something OTHER people do.

For a preview, here is a tweet he sent last night:

Sure buddy, keep fucking that YOOGE chicken.

We anxiously await Trey Gowdy and Devin Nunes opening a congressional investigation into James Comey's retroactively classified memos, and also whether he did Whitewater with Vince Foster in Benghazi, because those are important questions America has right now.

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[Wall Street Journal]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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I'd mentioned this week that there's definitely probably a tape out there of Donald Trump referring to a black person as a "nigger," because Trump is a racist and that's sort of what they do. Sarah Huckabee Sanders won't even affirmatively deny such a tape exists, and she's from the "two plus two equals five" school of communications management. I also speculated that once the tape was released, Republican supporters of the president would flock to defend his vile words: "Hey, if you rearrange the letters in "nigger," you get "ginger" and who doesn't like redheads and the occasional Dark 'n' Stormy?"

The shameful display has already started and the supposed recording isn't even available for pre-order on iTunes. Georgia State Senator Michael Williams stated in appearance on CNN's "New Day Saturday" that if Trump -- who's the president, by the way -- did say "nigger," it would certainly concern him as an "individual" but "not necessarily as a person that is running our country." So, uh, what the hell is that? This has been a standard argument from Republicans ever since Trump crawled his way out of the sewers of birtherism and onto a major political stage: "We think Trump is a terrible human being -- seriously, we have to shower immediately after meeting with him -- but we still think he's a suitable steward of the most powerful nation on the planet."

Normally, you'd think this would work the other way. You know, your brother-in-law is a nice enough guy. Your sister certainly could've done worse. You don't mind the slightly rambling sports-ball discussions with him at family gatherings. He's good for looking after the kids (as long as your sister is present or reachable by cell), but you'd never invest your hard-earned money into whatever half-assed business venture he's trying to get off the ground nor would you back his run for any serious political office.

I've long had issues with the "brilliant asshole" archetype in TV and movies. It's almost always a white male (because women and minorities must be perfect) whose emotional immaturity and overall jerkass behavior we're told to overlook because they're so goshdarned awesome. Do you want some PC "cuck" or do you want Dr. House to figure out that the MS symptoms you're suffering are really just because you ate a stale doughnut? Sherlock Holmes doesn't have time for your feelings or social niceties -- not while he's solving mysteries and being dreamy.

Trump, however, isn't "brilliant." He's just a guy who says "nigger." They're hardly a scarcity in the market. You don't even have to venture out to a klan rally to find one. You can order online -- same day social media delivery.

Williams argues that Trump didn't use the word "nigger" when he was in the "office of the president." It was just some youthful indiscretion when he was almost 60. I don't even know where he's going with this. Does he think Trump has changed? He routinely insults and belittles black people. He also calls black NFL players who peacefully protest "sons of bitches." Was that his way of weaning off calling us "niggers"? Has he been wearing a "nigger" patch on his arm to control his cravings for the racial epithet?

"He used the word in his personal life," Williams said. (It was actually in a workplace context -- SER) "Now if he were president and were to go on TV and use the n-word, I'd have a major problem with that."

It's heartening repulsive to see that Williams draws the line at Trump holding an official "nigger" press conference. I think once we reach that point, Trump will probably also reveal that his buddies on the Supreme Court discovered a typo in the Thirteenth Amendment and black folks' work-life balance will start to really suffer.

"I will always say using the n-word is wrong, and it's bad, and should never be accepted in our society. But just because (Trump) might have done it years ago, not as our president, doesn't mean we need to continue to berate him because he used it," GOP state Sen. Michael Williams, who is white, told CNN's Victor Blackwell on "New Day Saturday."

Blackwell, who is black, had to sit there and listen to this crap from a white elected official who is just 45 years old. You know, the word "nigger" doesn't even appear in the Dred Scott decision, for example, but that's not necessary for reasonable people to understand that it was racist as hell. We all know Trump is racist, but now Republicans can't even repudiate the worst demonstrations of his racial animus. The first black president hasn't even been out of office for two full years and already "nigger" is being redefined. What would once end a campaign in its tracks when Blackwell and I were growing up is now just an "oops, my bad."

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