roger stone
Roger Stone

Congratulations to Roger Stone, who will get another chance to perjure himself before Congress, thanks to the January 6 Select Committee, which subpoenaed him yesterday. He's invited to come in for a chat on December 18 about his involvement in organizing the January 6 rally, and also his participation in the JV weirdo rally that happened January 5. Maybe this time he can manage to do it without catching a charge for witness tampering after threatening a fellow witness's dog.

"I have said time and time again that I had no advance knowledge of the events that took place at the Capitol on that day," he told Politico. "Any statement, claim, insinuation, or report alleging, or even implying, that I had any involvement in or knowledge, whether advance or contemporaneous, about the commission of any unlawful acts by any person or group in or around the U.S. Capitol or anywhere in Washington, D.C. on January 6, 2021, is categorically false."

Well, he would say that. But as the Committee notes in its subpoena letter, he was there on the fifth, guarded by Oath Keepers, hanging out with the Proud Boys and Three Percenters and the entire motley crew of thugs trying to burn down democracy.

Additionally, the latest round of invitations includes Alex Jones, who was also shunted to the January 5 rally as part of the White House's effort to keep the sixth looking somewhat legit. Jones made various public statements in December and January about funding the event, a subject of paramount importance to the Committee, as well as exhorting his followers to "march on DC to save our country from a foreign takeover."

Committee Chair Bennie Thompson's press release notes, "Mr. Jones has stated that he was told by the White House that he was to lead a march from the January 6th Ellipse rally to the Capitol, where President Trump would meet the group and speak. Mr. Jones has repeatedly promoted unsupported allegations of election fraud, including encouraging individuals to attend the Ellipse rally on January 6th and implying he had knowledge about the plans of the former President with respect to the rally."

The probative value of any discussion that involves Alex Jones is unclear. Nor is it clear whether these two dumbasses will comply with congressional process or take the Bannon route.

Current Trump spox Taylor Budowich made the list, too, for his reported work funneling donor dollars into an ad campaign to boost attendance on January 6. He's invited in for a chat on December 16.

And rounding out the roster are Dustin Stockton and Jennifer Lynn Lawrence, a couple of griftin' lovebirds who were just profiled in a Politico piece entitled "The Bonnie and Clyde of MAGA World." If you like 9,000-word longreads humanizing a couple of ratfucker MAGA influencers as simultaneously the cons and the marks in a plot to get the craziest people in the country elected, then this one is for you! (Just kidding, it's a great piece.)

It's clear that these two attention whores have been off the Trump train for a while, appearing in a June ProPublica story to claim that they'd warned the White House that shit could get out of hand on January 6.

"A last-minute march, without a permit, without all the metro police that'd usually be there to fortify the perimeter, felt unsafe," Dustin Stockton said in a recent interview.

"And these people aren't there for a fucking flower contest," added Jennifer Lynn Lawrence, Stockton's fiancee and co-organizer. "They're there because they're angry."

More recently, Stockton criticized Trump in reporter David Freedlander's Politico piece: "The Trump world is clearly the worst of it," he complained. "He has raised $200 million-plus since the election. What is that being used for? Is it being used for what they are telling people it is being used for? I know it is not, because I am out here starving."

Safe bet Stockton and Lawrence will be showing up on the 14th and 15th for their dates with the Committee. As for the rest of the weirdos ... who the hell even knows.

[Politico / ProPublica / Politico / Select Committee Press Release]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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