Jared And Ivanka Need To Delete Their Goddamned Accounts. Literally!

Hillary Clinton

Welp, here we are again. The world is on fire and everything is terrible, and yet Jared Kushner is even more of an idiot than he was last time we called him an idiot, and he was a BIG IDIOT then. How can all of these things be true? Because that's just how America is. Love it or leave it, libtards!

So! Jared Kushner's emails. And Ivanka Trump Kushner's emails. We learned recently they had a private BENGHAZI EMAIL SERVER, just like Bill and Hillary Clinton did, except for how the Clinton server was named The Clenis Dot Org, whereas the Kushner-Trump one is called ijkfamily.com. Kushner's lawyer, Abbe Lowell, has said repeatedly that it's all fiiiiiine because he read all Jared's dirty sexting emails and there was nothing important in them. Even when a prankster impersonated Jared and emailed Lowell for advice on all the secret XXX LEGO PORN in his email, Lowell was like, "We should look at those together," but continued to make public statements that everything was fiiiiiiine, because he had gone through all the Kushner private emails personally, even though it appeared he actually had not.

Now Politico reports there's ANOTHER previously undisclosed email address on the Kushners' Clinton server, which is part of the White House's investigation into the White House's aggravated emailing problem:

Hundreds of emails have been sent since January from White House addresses to accounts on the Kushner family domain, these people said. Many of those emails went not to Kushner’s or Ivanka Trump’s personal addresses but to an account they both had access to and shared with their personal household staff for family scheduling.

The emails — which include nonpublic travel documents, internal schedules and some official White House materials — were in many cases sent from Ivanka Trump, her assistant Bridges Lamar and others who work with the couple in the White House. The emails to the third account were largely sent from White House accounts but occasionally came from other private accounts, one of these people said.


OK, to be clear, if the GOP hadn't spent ONE MILLION YEARS trying to convince America (successfully, we guess!) that Hillary Clinton having a private server was worse than Hitler, we wouldn't be LOLing about this so much. And if Ivanka Trump's father, who is also Jared Kushner's father-in-law, hadn't spent an entire campaign inciting hordes of syphilitic rodents to scream "LOCK HER UP!" every five seconds because of "emails," we might not even be writing this post. AND if Jared Kushner wasn't EAT THE FUCK UP in the Trump-Russia investigation, we wouldn't be just curious if Javanka used this email address, or any other secret email address we don't know about yet, to do conspiracies with Russia to steal the election for Daddy.

Politico also reports that this new private address has been used "daily" and "they've pretty much been using it since they got here." So we don't want to hear excuses about how the transition period was just SO CRAZY and they eventually moved onto regular White House email. They didn't. They actively maintained a PRIVATE EMAIL SERVER to conduct their business, some of which was White House-related.


Is this somehow different from Hillary Clinton's voracious emailing? A close read of Politico's report sounds like they're EXACTLY THE SAME:

“Everyone uses private email, no one thinks about security, and that’s why it keeps happening,” said James A. Lewis, senior vice president and director of the Strategic Technologies Program at the Center for Strategic and International Studies. [...]

The accounts would have been more secure if they relied on commercial email providers. It is unclear what they did. “If you’re using a commercial email service provider, you’re really reducing the risk,” according to Lewis, because the major tech companies that run platforms like Gmail and Outlook typically have robust security teams. “If you’re doing your own email, it gets to be a lot easier [to hack],” he added.

Remember how Trump idiots were absolutely convinced during the campaign that Hillary Clinton's email server had been hacked, and that Russia had the mythological "33,000 deleted emails"? Remember how Trump literally BEGGED Russians to hack Hillary's emails? Remember how that weird Clinton-hating wingnut guy Peter Smith was allegedly working with literal actual foreign agent/former national security adviser Michael Flynn to get those emails from Russian hackers, so they could find the map to the Clinton Body Count graveyard, and also evidence of other Hillary cimes? Remember how Smith strangely committed suicide? Remember how American intelligence actually picked up Russians gossiping about how to hack Hillary's emails?

You'd think Jared 'n' Ivanka might remember all this. But we're sure it's OK and they didn't do anything naughty or criminal, because they are perfect law-abiding angels who have nothing to hide. It's not like their name is "Hillary Clinton" or anything.

These two fuckers need to eat our ass, like right now, and also DELETE THEIR MOTHERFUCKING ACCOUNTS. Literally!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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