Jared Kushner Is Hot OK FINE WE SAID IT HE'S TOTALLY EVIL BUT SHUT UP
And he appears to love his kids, so there's that. GAH WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?
"I have an unpopular opinion I should not share," I said, in the secret Wonkette chat cave.
Editrix Rebecca replied, "Well THAT is intriguing!"
"I think Jared Kushner is hot I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW SO BAD but Daily Mail had all these pictures of him at the beach this week and I was like OK fine, he's hot. EVIL, but hot." (EVIL.)
Rebecca replied, "He has cute dimples, I noticed." And said to do a post about it. So here we are, and we already feel dirty. (For the necessary counterpoint to the truly disgusting feelings we are about to share, Intern Dominic said, "Those abs and chicken legs? He skips leg day." So there you go. Also, we happen to LIKE the long, lanky sort.)
First of all, we ARE NOT NORMALIZING Donald Trump, for real, OK? We think Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner are absolutely aiding and abetting evil, and TOTALLY deserve to get yelled at for it, especially when they participate in helping Dear Old Fuehrer Dad destroy American institutions, or ban Muslims, or round up Hispanics, and so on and so forth.
But ugh. How DOES one confront it, when they think Evil Jared is hot?
On the other hand, just playing Devil's advocate here, this power couple is possibly the most "normal" thing about the incoming First Family, whatever "normal" means. Nobody's about to write a blog post about how they want to bang Twilight extras Eric Trump and Donald Junior. So disagree with us all you want, but Jared is a piece of ass. (We know, we know, Donald, you're only used to hearing "piece of ass" when Howard Stern asks if it's OK for him to call your daughter that and you're like "yeah sure.") So MAYBE if we just state for the record that we think Jared es muy fuckable, we have a bargaining chip to convince them to step in as voices of sanity when Orange Dick McGee wants to let Mike Pence round up the homosexuals and put them in electroshock de-gaying camps.
Anyway, here is Jared, on the beach, in a picture via The Daily Mail, MUST CREDIT DAILY MAIL ONE MILLION TIMES, and then they will let us get away with this under "fair use," because this post is solely about how we saw Jared nakey in The Daily Mail:
Look, he's a DILF. That is all we are saying. An evil DILF who needs to be reminded on a daily basis that people who support the next Hitler are decidedly less bone-able than people who don't support the next Hitler, even if the next Hitler is their father-in-law.
And he does have cute dimples, as we see in these pictures pilfered from Ivanka's Instagram:
Also he is cute with his kids:
The whole family feeding Theodore his first ever spoonfuls of food--apple sauce! ? I cannot believe how big he is getting! #Milestone #solids
A video posted by Ivanka Trump (@ivankatrump) on
So anyway, we feel dirty for having written this post, but also ask that Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump NOTE WELL that we, yr ugly vile snark mob, just said something NICE about them, and encourage them to please use their very close influence on Donald to keep his hands off the nuclear button and civil rights and the United States Constitution. Also, please do not kill America with fire.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.