Jason Chaffetz Just Taking A Month Off Work Because OW HIS FOOT OW!

no for real his foot hurts REAL BAD

First of all, yr Wonkette is not a medical doctor, and so we will defer to experts as to whether Rep. Jason Chaffetz, chair of the House Oversight Committee, a guy who has already signaled that he really really really REALLY doesn't want to go to work at "Congressman" no more, is bullshitting when he says he HAS to take several weeks off work, because he needs to have some surgery on his foot. We will defer to those experts as to whether he really needs to go home for "three to four weeks," or whether it might be possible for him to go to the hospital, get a bit of R&R, and then go back to work on crutches in a few days.

Pete Wilson was wheeled in to the Capitol on a gurney. Robert Byrd was a reanimated corpse when he came to vote aye on Obamacare. Even Johnny Isakson came straight from back surgery to cast his important vote that Planned Parenthood go screw. But sure, Jason Chaffetz, take your time! Nothing important happening here!

Is Jason Chaffetz being a pussy, or is this legit? We just don't know! But this announcement from Chaffetz's Instagram just makes us curious:

If you cannot read that, the gist is that 12 years ago, Jason Chaffetz was trying to fix his garage door or something and he fell and that's why his face looks like that he broke his foot in a million places. Now his doctors say they need to take all the nails out of his foot RIGHT NOW, otherwise he will get a big infection. He appreciates his "constituent's patience" (apparently just the one), and he promises he will come back to work at Congress ASAP, when his foot is beautiful and new again.

This is interesting because Tuesday, Chaffetz and his Democratic counterpart on the oversight committee, Rep. Elijah Cummings, had a briefing about documents related to why foreign agent/Russian spy/weird ass human dildo Michael Flynn was able to become national security adviser without fessing up about how he is a foreign agent/Russian spy/weird ass human dildo. Chaffetz even said it appears Michael Flynn did not comply with the law, though he did not go so far as to say Flynn "broke" the law. We're sure his choice of verbs was very important there.

The White House, meanwhile, has refused to turn over any documents it has on Flynn's hiring, and indeed whether he was even vetted. Those documents were requested by ... Elijah Cummings and Jason Chaffetz! Cummings told Rachel Maddow on Tuesday night that, in order to get the White House to comply, it might even take subpoenas. Will the House Oversight Committee be able to request those subpoenas, if its chairperson Jason Chaffetz is in the hospital with his Sad Foot in a sling, letting everybody give him sponge baths and having wheelchair races?

As we mentioned above, Chaffetz surprised everyone last week by announcing, with literally no warning, that he isn't running for re-election in 2018, and he probably won't even finish his current term. It's pretty obvious he just wants to leave right now. He's either bored in his job, or maybe he's dirty with Trump Russia stuff, or maybe he wants to go work at Fox News. We just don't know!

But for right now, he has a boo boo in his foot, and he has to go to hospital to get the boo boo removed, otherwise HE MIGHT DIE. At least we imagine it's that serious! If it really is, he definitely needs to get the surgery, because we don't want bad things to happen to our sweet Jason.

Anyway, the point is that Jason Chaffetz sure as hell won't be doing his job for the next few weeks, as if he was even doing it in the first place, PFFFFFFFFFT.

Wonkette is funded by readers like you! If you like this post, click below, to fund us with dollars!

[h/t Time]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc