Judge Boxwine Doesn't Know Why Y'all So 'Triggered' By Seeing One Little Gun
The wingnut hot takes on the Uvalde, Texas, mass shooting, where 19 beloved children and two of their favorite teachers were gunned down in cold blood, are coming hot and heavy. Why can't wingnuts just be emotionally gutted like the rest of us, and vow that these things shall never again happen in this country? Because that's not what they do.
Here's a new mini-batch, starting with Judge Boxwine AKA Jeanine Boxwine AKA Boxwine Pirro, who doesn't understand why all ye libs are so "triggered" just by seeing a little gun. No, don't worry! This isn't a slurring defense of the school shooters' bad guns! It's a defense of the security guards' good guns!
JESSE WATTERS: About what the FBI profiler said and what Greg mentioned about hardening these softer targets, where is the obstacle to having, politically, to having one single armed security guard in every single public school K-12, in the country? It doesn't seem like that is that huge of a deal. Where would be the pushback on that, judge?
JEANINE PIRRO: The pushback is that people today, many of them are intimidated, they are triggered if there is someone with a gun, they are frightened, that is this new narrative, when you see a gun you should be frightened as opposed to appreciating what they are doing for you.
Irrational libs, being frightened. After all, the good guy with the gun has never turned out to be the bad guy with the gun after all. And the good guys with guns definitely never wait around outside for 40 minutes while the bad guy with the gun is barricaded inside a classroom with his victims. (Look, we don't know exactly what happened there, and there's a lot of speculation. But it doesn't look great, is all we're saying.)
So that happened.
But it was actually one of the earlier reactions to our latest weekly massacre, so perhaps Boxwine can be forgiven for sloshing around like "why errrrrrbody so TRIGGERED," before the reality of the situation set in.
Media Matters watched Fox News all day yesterday, and collected some fresher takes.
For instance, Laura Ingraham says guns don't kill people, pressure cooker bombs kill people, except sure, this time it was a gun, but it could have been a pressure cooker bomb:
LAURA INGRAHAM: Now the Left is focusing on the fact that an 18-year-old with no clear source of income was able to buy expensive guns and 375 rounds of ammo. Of course, he could have just as easily, probably, built a pressure cooker bomb and killed just as many people. So focusing on his methods, it doesn't really end up solving very much.
STFU, stupid fucking clown person.
Lara Trump seems to think this is happening because there just aren't any Christian fathers anymore, not like her family has, plus also there is internet:
LARA TRUMP: And you look across the board at things like the fact that, you know, we have the dissolution of the family in so many respects. We have fatherless children on the rise in America. We have the loss of religion in so many aspects of our country, where it was a foundation of our country at one time. You can't discount the rise of social media and the role that that has played in things like this.
Just give 'em that old time religion like they do in the Trump family, won't have no guns. Besides, Christians are never terrorists, oh wait.
JoeMyGod has the transcript on that one:
“There’s going to be all kinds of discussions coming up, unfortunately, you know, in the media regarding Second Amendment rights. But I think we really need to ask the question, how could something like this happen?
“When I grew up, things were different. And I just think that kids are exposed to all kinds of horrible stuff nowadays too.
“I look back and I think about the horrible stuff they hear when they listen to rap music, the video games that they watch from a really early age with all of this horrible violence and stuff.
“I just think that they have this access to the internet on a regular basis, which is just, you know, it’s not good for kids.”
The internet is bad for kids and the hippity-hoppity is bad for kids and the video games "that they watch" are bad for kids. Can you believe they let kids just get their hands on any rap musics and internets and video games they want? Why, they can just go down to the store and say, "Hello sir, I'd like some raps and some internets and some violent video games!" And in most states, they just say, "Sure, son!" and sell them the raps and the internets and the violent video games. Any old person can go and get raps and internets and video games. There should be a law!
On other Foxes, Tucker Carlson decided he wanted to talk about violent homeless people, because "this is bigger than a single mass shooting or even two of them in 10 days," and Tucker is just really concerned about the violent homeless people. And we could spend a lot of time talking about that, or smarmy filthy shit person Ted Cruz going on Fox last night and saying the real solution is "door control," and that the problem with schools is just that there are too many dang doors.
But we said this was going to be a "mini-batch" of hot takes, not a great big large huge batch. So this post is over now.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!
Wonkette is funded ENTIRELY by a few thousand people like you. If you're not already, would you pls consider being the few thousandth and one?