Jeb Bush One-Ups Marco Rubio By Becoming Hispanic Voter
Did you know that if you speak Spanish, marry a Mexican, and do a stint abroad in Venezuela, you too can become Hispanic? No, really, it's true! At least according to a 2009 voter registration form completed by whiter-than-snow and dumber-than-dirt Jeb Bush, speaker of Spanish and marry-ier of a Hispanic lady:
In a 2009 voter-registration application, obtained from the Miami-Dade County Elections Department, Mr. Bush marked Hispanic in the field labeled “race/ethnicity.”
Clearly, this was a simple and harmless mistake for which "[a] Bush spokeswoman could offer no explanation," even though Bush is an "honorary Latino," so it's not entirely untrue:
Whoops, LOL! Sure, he signed the application under oath, so one could argue he committed voter registration fraud, but why would one argue that? It's not as if he's a real Latino vote-frauder, like the ones Republicans are always warning us about all of the time. Then we might have a problem.
But nah, despite Bush's harmless under-oath mistake, he's just a good ol' WASP from a good family, so it's all a comedy of errors, unless you want to believe he sort of is Hispanic (outreach!). That wouldn't be the worst thing; as the New York Times noted, Univision has called him "a Hispanic candidate." And that's one way to tap into that sweet Latino voting bloc before it's lost to the Democratic Party forever. See? Bush is a trustworthy white guy and a minority-by-marriage. Everyone wins -- except for Marco Rubio, the other Floridian maybe-presidential candidate of actual Latino heritage. Perhaps he needs to spend some time in Venezuela and saying words in Spanish, to boost his Hispanic credibility.
Failed 2012 Republican nominee Mitt Romney said that he hoped Gov. Bush would do the right thing and self-deport.