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Jeb Bush's New Tech Genius Is Aware Of All Internet Traditions, Including Misogyny

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  • Jeb Bush is doing a great job so far of proving just how "The Smart One" he is, even though he has not yet officially announced his candidacy for Republican Loser of 2016. Also, of proving how low a bar that is when you're talking about the Bush family.
    Jeb just made a terrific new hire to join his unofficially-but-totally-running-for-president team: a boy genius named Ethan Czahor, to be his chief technology officer. Among his many accomplishments, he founded something that is called -- no, we are not making this up -- Hipster.com, and he's going to use his savvy to reach out to the kids these days on the interwebs because he is really good at the newfangled technology, and yes, you probably can guess exactly where this is going.It took the very interwebs at which this guy is supposed to be so skilled all of .2 seconds to discover his online history of being a sexist, racist, homophobic jerkhole Republican (but we repeat ourselves).

    Of course, because Czahor is so good at the technology stuff, he knows that if you act fast and delete now, no one will ever know. So he immediately started deleting all those embarrassing tweets, at the request of the Bush team, because those kinds of comments are "inappropriate." And now that they've been deleted and history has been sufficiently revised, it never happened. And no one will ever know that Bush's new hire is a jerk who said jerk things on the internet. And they certainly will not take pictures of those tweets and publish them far and wide, so they will live forever even though they have been "deleted" because that's how the internet works. As this guy knows, because he's a tech genius.

    We're still a long way from the 2016 election, but if Jeb's exceptional vetting skills are any indication of what what we can expect in the coming campaign, well, we're just as impressed as we expected to be by the "smarter" Bush brother.

  • Now we get to watch mumps spread across this fine U.S. American country where you're free to hate science. Thanks, anti-vaxxers:

    An outbreak of mumps that started at an Idaho university and infected 21 people across the state has now spread to neighboring Washington state, health officials said on Monday.

    The spread of mumps, a highly contagious virus that leads to painful swelling of the salivary glands, comes as a wider measles outbreak has infected more than 100 people in California and over a dozen more in 19 other U.S. states and Mexico since December. [...]

    Public health officials were urging students on the Moscow campus and anyone who might have come into close contact with an infected person to ensure their vaccinations are up to date. Mumps and measles can be prevented through a single vaccine, the MMR vaccine that also covers rubella, health officials said.

  • NBC Nightly News's Brian Williams is taking a brief (for now) leave of absence after "misremembering" something that didn't actually happen to him, but a whole bunch of Americans who undoubtedly couldn't pick him out of a line-up and don't watch the news want him to go away forever:

    Now, America has spoken, and many think that his lie is too much to come back from. According to a recent Rasmussen Reports national telephone poll, 40 percent of Americans said that they believe Williams should resign as a result of the misstep. Thirty-five percent of participants said they feel he should keep his job, while 25 percent said they were not sure.

    Regardless of the outcome, 18 percent of Americans polled said they now have a "very unfavorable view" of the "NBC Nightly News" host.

  • Are you one of those people who loved loved LOVED "Breaking Bad" and had all the sad faces when it was over? Then you probably already know there is a show called "Better Call Saul," and you probably already watched the first episode, but just in case you didn't, our TV-viewing expert friends at Happy Nice Time People want you to know it is awesome, and you should watch it:

    Damn. If you haven’t already seen the Better Call Saul Premiere Part One, then just go watch it. Do NOT read this spoilery recap until you are done, and then read it only to relive the experience after you’ve savored it. [EDITOR’S NOTE: please read this story and click all the ad links, whether you’ve watched the show or not. – Rick]

    Also, if you’ve never seen Breaking Bad, start with that. With bathroom breaks it should take about two and half days. Call in sick to work, and arrange for delivery. You don’t need to have watched Breaking Bad to “get” Saul, but it will certainly enhance your pleasure.

  • Just going to leave this here for you:
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If it's a day, the New York Times is fucking shit up, but today, it fucked up BIGLY.

Fresh-faced access journalists Adam Goldman and Michael Schmidt have just published what we can only describe as a drive-by shooting against Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, which reads as some bullshit planted by the White House to give Donald Trump the pretext for his Saturday Night Massacre, if he wants it. (He does.)

Maybe the White House is tired of talking about the flailing nomination of Judge Maybe Rapey and how Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen are cooperating with special counsel Robert Mueller, and the New York Times was more than happy to help!

Or maybe it was planted by former deputy director of the FBI Andrew McCabe, who was fired by Attorney General Jeff Sessions just hours before his pension was set to kick in, and may have a serious axe to grind with DoJ officials and leaked a copy of his own memos. (His lawyer says that's not true, but he would say that, wouldn't he?)

Or maybe it's both, somehow! Or one of many other things!

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It's not every day Golf Digest gets noticed as a source of hard-hitting investigative journalism, at least outside of reviews of titanium carbon fiber nanotech infinite improbability drivers or some such. But Wednesday, some journamalisming that started with a Golf Digest story about a guy who drew fantastic imaginary golf courses concluded with that guy, Valentino Dixon, walking out of Attica prison, 27 years after he'd been sentenced for 39 years to life. Not bad, Golf Digest. We give you a GOLF CLAP. And a Pulitzer if we had one, which, sadly, we don't.

As Golf Digest says, the twists and turns of the case are a bit complex (they're unraveled in more detail in this New York Times story), but it basically comes down to a local prosecutor who was determined to railroad Dixon for the 1991 murder of a 17-year-old, Torriano Jackson, in Buffalo, New York. The conviction involved

shoddy police work, zero physical evidence linking Dixon, conflicting testimony of unreliable witnesses, the videotaped confession to the crime by another man, a public defender who didn't call a witness at trial, and perjury charges against those who said Dixon didn't do it.

Dixon had a prior conviction for selling cocaine, and he made a convenient target for Erie County prosecutor Chris Belling, who was weirdly determined to ignore even statements from the actual killer, LaMarr Scott, who pleaded guilty to the killing shortly before Dixon's release this week.

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