Jeff Flake Flakes Out On Jimmy Carter For Calling Trump 'Illegitimate'

Jeff Flake Flakes Out On Jimmy Carter For Calling Trump 'Illegitimate'

Former Arizona Senator and Marlboro Man Jeff Flake emerged from retirement to denounce a president who has flagrantly defied the all norms and traditions Americans hold dear. That president is not Donald Trump, who was recently accused of rape ... again. No, Flake is upset somehow with Jimmy Carter, peanut farmer and humanitarian.

Carter was speaking yesterday at a human rights conference in Virginia when he remarked that Trump was "put into office because the Russians interfered." He believes a full investigation will show that Trump didn't actually win in 2016. This presidential trash talk, based on facts, horrified Flake.

"Behold the ratio!" Twitter

Trump is a credibly accused rapist, so we're fine with people saying "awful things" about him. The president isn't even a rapist whose election was on the up and up. There's compelling evidence his campaign cheated to win or at best passively and eagerly accepted help from a hostile foreign power. That does not spell legitimate or even "relief" to us.

This is why a malignant narcissist like Trump became president in the first place. It guaranteed him a lifetime of respect and deference he never earned. He didn't just steal the presidency. He stole a peerage. Flake thinks it's more appropriate for Carter to argue against Trump's re-election. Carter's almost 95 years old. He doesn't have time to create Power Point presentations explaining to people why rapists are not presidential material. Besides, Carter lost re-election himself. All he did was confess to lusting in his heart (also gas was too damn high). Trump's punishment should be more severe. When Anne Boleyn was railroaded, her daughter, Elizabeth, was removed from the line of succession. This what should happen to Trump. He should leave office a disowned bastard who wonders why no one calls him "princess" anymore.

Look, we once thought simply defeating Trump in 2020 was the best chance to disinfect the White House because Republicans like Flake would never lift a finger to help impeach or remove Trump. But Flake's pathetic rehab efforts on Trump's behalf have us questioning our whole theory. He wants to grant Trump's presidency "legitimacy" it doesn't have in the worn-out name of civility. That doesn't just insult our intelligence. It actively encourages further attacks on our elections. Trump's already said he's up for another hit. Why not? It was the perfect crime. This is literally how the perfect crime plays out. Some B players got fucked, but Trump is fine. He's not sitting alone somewhere, tortured by his memories and the reality of the monster he's become. That's for suckers with souls.

Flake double-downed on his defense of Trump with a sick heaping of "both sides."

More ratio!Twitter

Well, that's just dandy: Flake equates a racist conspiracy theory against the first black president with the correct observation that Trump's presidency is tainted. If necessary, Robert Mueller would've conclusively proven that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii, which is in fact the United States despite all the brown people there. It would've taken a couple phone calls. Mueller'sless confident about Trump's lack of criminal behavior. A president who possibly obstructed justice and raped women (yeah, we're gonna keep mentioning this) is not in any way "legitimate."

Flake gave a lot of self-serving speeches on the Senate floor about how mean Trump was, but he still supported Don Trump whenever it mattered. This includes voting to confirm Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. Flake boasted in 2016 about how he wouldn't vote for Hillary Clinton. Backing the non-rapist birther in the race was literally the least he could've done to oppose Trump. The Dickensian-named Flake has no credibility.

Trump didn't really need Flake's help defending his lack of honor. He insulted Carter in Japan this morning. Although the former president is quite old, he is still alive, which we guess makes him fairer game than Trump's other arch-nemesis, the ghost of John McCain.


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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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