Jeff Sessions's Greatest Hits! (Against Voting Rights, Women, Immigrants, Black People...)
Winner: Best Deer in Headlights Look since Dan Quayle
With Senate Judiciary Committee hearings underway on the nomination of Sen. Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III to be Donald Trump's Attorney General For White America, we'd like to take a few minutes to review the distinguished career of the man with the most stereotypical name for a Southern Senator in the modern era. Who is Jeff Sessions, and how will he Make America 1952 Again?
The Race Question
The main thing to remember about Jeff Sessions is that he's been here before, in front of the Judiciary Committee, when he was nominated to a federal judgeship by Ronald Reagan in 1986, and got sent home in shame when the Republican-controlled committee voted not to send him on to the full Senate. Why? Just a few things: As a U.S. Attorney, Sessions prosecuted three civil rights workers, including a former aide to Martin Luther King, on voter fraud charges, a case that was so bogus the jury tossed it out after four hours of deliberation. The New York Times has a detailed discussion of why Sessions thinks he was protecting voting rights against fraudsters, and why he's so very, very wrong.
Team Of Evils: Jeff Sessions Was Too Racist To Be A Federal Judge, But He Could Be Your Next Attorney General!
Yes, that election happened. And here's your proof that it's not just a bad dream.
You mean to say that Jeff Sessions isn't a civil rights champion? Knock us over with the proverbial feather!
If they're trying to appeal to Jeff Sessions's sense of shame, they may have the wrong target.
The board includes pre-1986 Mr. Snuffleupagus, Tyler Durden, Tony -- the man who lives inside the mouth of Danny Torrance in The Shining, Drop Dead Fred, Hobbes, and at least two six-foot, three-and-a-half-inch tall invisible rabbits.
Sen. Jeff Sessions would jsut like us to remember how tough on crime Donald Trump is: So tough he called for the execution of five falsely-accused teens!
And let us not forget that during the campaign, Jeff Sessions praised Donald Trump as a terrific Law 'n' Order candidate, since Trump had called for the execution of innocent black teenagers in the Central Park Five case.
The Woman Problem
Sen. Jeff Sessions can't figure out if it's sexual assault, and Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway is all PFFFFFT EVERYBODY DOES IT.
SESSIONS: I don’t characterize that as sexual assault. I think that’s a stretch. I don’t know what he meant --
THE WEEKLY STANDARD: So if you grab a woman by the genitals, that’s not sexual assault?
SESSIONS: I don’t know. It’s not clear that he -- how that would occur.
It's a mystery, isn't it?
Oh, but that's just the most recent example of Jess Sessions being a tad clueless on the Ladies. He voted against reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act in 2013. During his confirmation hearings today, Sessions explained he'd supported an alternative version of VAWA that didn't include a provision allowing prosecution of non-tribal members in tribal courts, which he said in 2013 "subject[ed] American citizens to trial in a sovereign tribal court, the personnel of which have no democratic accountability to the American public." So don't you go saying he supports violence against women -- he just doesn't support tribal courts handling such cases if the defendant is a white guy kicking the shit out of his Native American wife, so there.
How About The Gays?
Oh, this one's easy! Sessions voted against the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," opposed marriage equality (although he said in his testimony today the Supreme Court's decision to make it the law of the land was indeed final), and voted against the Matthew Shepard/James Byrd Hate Crimes Prevention Act and its extension of federal hate crimes law to cover crimes motivated by gender, sexual orientation, or disability. He had a great reason for opposing that one, saying he just wasn't sure it was a big problem, really: “I am not sure women or people with different sexual orientations face that kind of discrimination. I just don’t see it.” If he didn't see it, then it must not be much of a problem!
Oh, Yeah, Immigration -- We Bet He's A Peach On That
Jeff Sessions isn't merely against fixing our immigration system with any policy involving a pathway to citizenship, he wants the DREAM Act kids to go away, and he's not much of a fan of legal immigration, either. After the Senate nonetheless passed a comprehensive immigration bill in 2013, Sessions made it his business to kill the bill in the House. He distributed to House members a 23-page handbook chock-full of anti-reform talking points, starting with this blunt instrument of a paragraph:
“Immigration reform” may be the single most abused phrase in the English language. It has become a legislative honorific almost exclusively reserved for proposals which benefit everyone but actual American citizens.
Sessions also helped craft Trump's immigration "plan," such as it was, and the Trump transition team is fairly crawling with people from Sessions's Senate staff, especially in areas involving immigration.
Any Other Notable Jerkface Moments?distinguished himself by complaining that there were simply too many people on food stamps, because the USDA was making an effort to make sure eligible families got the benefits they qualified for:
“It has become sadly clear that Agriculture Secretary Vilsack wishes to make welfare part of the normal American experience, with no regard for social or economic consequences. How else can you explain why he gave an award to a recruitment worker for overcoming the ‘mountain pride’ of rural Americans?” Sessions told The Daily Caller, recalling one of the many outreach efforts the USDA has engaged in over the years to get more people on SNAP.
Shame on the big mean government for refusing to recognize Americans' basic dignity and determination to let their kids go hungry rather than get help.
So there's your next Attorney General, kids. Maybe he won't be confirmed, but don't bet on it.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.