'I don't know, but I've been told / Donald Trump is made of mold!'

California Gov. Jerry Brown is fine with sending some of the state's National Guard troops to patrol along the US-Mexico border. Just not for the immigrant-hunting mission Donald Trump thinks is suddenly a huge military priority. But sure, Brown announced in a letter last week, the Guard can certainly cooperate with the Department of Homeland Security. In the letter, Brown said he'd be delighted to take some federal cash to deploy troops for a useful purpose. How about on training to secure the homeland, for instance?

Your funding for new staffing will allow the Guard to do what it does best: support operations targeting transnational criminal gangs, human traffickers and illegal firearm and drug smugglers along the border, the coast and throughout the state. Combating these criminal threats are priorities for all Americans [...]

But let’s be crystal clear on the scope of this mission. This will not be a mission to build a new wall. It will not be a mission to round up women and children or detain people escaping violence and seeking a better life. And the California National Guard will not be enforcing federal immigration laws.

Not gonna do it (shut up! Dana Carvey jokes are still relevant!) because didn't you guys know illegal border crossings are at a record low? Also, God does not approve of the New Cruelty:

Here are the facts: there is no massive wave of migrants pouring into California. Overall immigrant apprehensions on the border last year were as low as they’ve been in nearly 50 years (and 85 percent of the apprehensions occurred outside of California).

I agree with the Catholic Bishops who have said that local, state and federal officials should “work collaboratively and prudently in the implementation of this deployment, ensuring that the presence of the National Guard is measured and not disruptive to community life.”

Yesterday, a Defense Department spokessoldier said California wasn't going to play nice like all the other border states' governors have, but that the DOD was “in continuing dialogue and discussion” on how California might coordinate with the feds. Needless to say, Donald Trump had a hissy about it this morning on the electric Tweeter machine:

In a speech at the National Press Club in Washington today, just minutes after the tweet, Brown didn't seem especially worried about Trump's displeasure, saying, "There’s very good communication between California’s National Guard and National Guard headquarters." And sure, if he has to acknowledge them, he added, "There are other players, like Department of Defense and Homeland Security." So, really good communications! Part of good communication can be strategic vagueness, right?

Naturally enough, some of Trump's supporters on Twitter aren't impressed by the diplomatic approach:

It's not yet clear whether the rando Twitter asshole has already been appointed to a job in the Department of Justice.

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[Sacramento Bee / WaPo / Image via California National Guard, Wikimedia Commons ]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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