Jerry Falwell Jr. Offers To Whip Out His Big Gun To Keep Us All Safe From Muslims

say yer prayers, varmint

Is there anything that Liberty University -- Jerry Falwell's vanity project that endures, regrettably, long after his death -- is actually good at? We know it is comically bad at being a law school. We know it has only the remotest familiarity with actual science, choosing instead to cram sweet sweet creationism down the throats of their willing students. But let's be fair. They are great at hating the gays and they have always been the super-bestest at loving guns and other assorted and sundry weapons like unmanned aerial drones.

With that love of munitions in mind, a love that surpasseth all understanding, Jerry Falwell's favorite son Jerry Junior used the recent San Bernardino shootings to exhort the students under his not-really-all-that-careful tutelage to carry even more guns so that they could stop the Islamic hordes from sweeping across America and obliterating fourth-rate evangelical Christian colleges.

Quick quiz after viewing that soft-handed twerp talking so tough: who is more repugnant to watch speak? The Father or the Son?

Oh god we just freaked ourselves out at the possibility that there is a Holy Falwell Ghost.

Where were we? Oh yes, guns, and how the doughy dipshits who populate Liberty U are going to save us all.

“I’ve always thought that if more good people had concealed-carry permits, then we could end those Muslims before they walked in and killed them,” he said during the school’s convocation, before teasing the students about his own gun.

Oh sweet Lord in the heavens above we do not want to hear how Jerry Falwell Jr. teases anyone about anything oh please dear Jesus do not make us --

“If some of those people in that community center had what I have in my back pocket right now…” he said. “Is it illegal to pull it out? I don’t know,” he joked, to laughter and loud applause.

Blogging does not pay nearly enough to cover the pain and suffering of thinking about Jerry Junior whipping it out. Consider, for your next donation to yr Wonkette, restricting the donation to only be used for the ongoing therapy of those of us who have been exposed to this level of trauma.

[Think Progress]


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc