Today in your daily jesus please shut UP Jim Hoft: the Stupidest Man on the Internetlinks to some  argleybarglyboo from Judicial Watch about Phoenix's goal of getting some African-American and Hispanic lifeguards at public pools that are, you know, used by African-American and Hispanic kids. That goal includes training up folks who may not have swum competitively for Team Whitey McRicherson Swim Club while in high school. Predictably, the article degenerates into a discussion (we use that term very loosely) about how all your children will drown drrrrrooowwwn DROWN if you let blah and brown people near them because EVERYONE KNOWS BLACK PEOPLE CAN'T SWIM.

Of course, if you teach a black man to swim, he'll ... eat for a lifetime? Wait, no, that cannot be it. We have confused ourselves here. Because the wingnuts are angry that there might be training programs to help minority applicants get gooder at a thing, and that is wrong. But then they are always saying that thing about teaching because it is the opposite of just handouts, but then they do not want the teaching either? Huh, weird.

There’s a good reason the city is hiring lifeguards that can’t swim. Public pools are largely used by Latino and African-American kids, but most of the lifeguards are white and this creates a huge problem. “The kids in the pool are all either Hispanic or black or whatever, and every lifeguard is white and we don’t like that,” says a Phoenix official quoted in the story. She added that “the kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.”

How did it ever come to this? Competitive swimming is a sport dominated by whites. In fact, studies have found that blacks and Hispanics have lower swimming proficiency compared to whites. In Phoenix public pool lifeguards have traditionally come from “more affluent parts of town” where schools have swim teams. That means virtually no minorities, so the city launched this special program to recruit some.

Only in the country of the painfully dumb where these people reside do these two paragraphs make sense: Agree with premise that most public pools are used by children of color. Next, posit that only white people swim and white people are rich and white people have swim teams. Therefore, no not-white not-rich people can swim. You fucking WISH your logic was this airtight.

(In case you were contemplating it, though why on earth would you, do NOT read the comments on the linked article. No. Stop it. We mean it. Your quota of hyper-racist derp is full from reading this post.)

Unsurprisingly, after going full eugenics on how white people are just Born This Way to be better swimmers, the post then descends into your bog-standard ooga-boogaing about how Bamz is going to come to your house personally and give a black person your sweet-ass job and probably let them fuck your wife also, too:

Though this is a local effort in one city, it’s also part of a national trend to boost the minority workforce at whatever cost. Under President Obama we have seen a lot of this at the federal level through a variety of specially-designed government programs that give ethnic minorities special treatment at all federal agencies as well as medical and agricultural fields, among others.

Earlier this year the administration made history by hiring the government’s first “Chief Officer for Scientific Workforce Diversity” to mastermind a multi-million-dollar effort that boosts the number of minorities in biomedical research and slashes discrimination in the federal grant process. The effort was initially launched last year after a government-sanctioned study uncovered a “disturbing and disheartening” lack of racial diversity in the field.

First they get the swimming pools, then they get the laboratory. WHERE WILL IT END?

[Gateway Pundit/Judicial Watch]