Jim Hoft Finally Officially Designated As The Dumbest Man On The Internet With Reed Irvine Award


If you have never heard of the group "Accuracy in the Media" (AIM), do not feel ashamed. AIM can be easily lost in the fetid open sewer that is the conservative movement's various political groups/tax shelters. However, once a year this organization decides to rise from above the primordial soup of right wing insanity to engage in a blatant act of trolling against the forces of progressivism and the entire concept of veracity by giving some jackass an award for "outstanding achievements in investigative journalism." This year that jackass is Jim Hoft, the man universally known as the "dumbest man on the internet." It is certainly a huge honor for Hoft, and outside of fellow St. Louis resident/moran Josh "Randy" Sullivan we could not think of a more deserving designee.

AIM was started by a Reed Irvine, a man who once denied that the El Mozote Massacre took place based purely on Reed's own perception that the person reporting the deaths of over 800 civilians was a filthy communist. Irvine died in 2004 after a career highlighted by his role in promoting the conservative masturbatory narrative regarding the Vince Foster conspiracy and his general existence as a complete embarrassment to any idealized notion about the benefits of a free press. Given this splendid reputation, it makes sense that the award in his name is finally being bestowed upon the Imo's Pizza of internet punditry, Jim Hoft.

Hoft has made a name for himself in the Obama era by personifying the mindset of Real America's insane flubby cousin who lives in the midwest and forces everyone to attend his painfully awful Thanksgiving dinner every year (WE DO NOT SERVE ANY GAY ASS GREEN VEGETABLES IN THIS HOUSE BOY). His blog is the embodiment of the sort of pervasive midwestern form of passive aggressive cultural fascism. It boasts the expected pathological hatred of anything Obama, but Hoft's work can be distinguished through his flailing attempts to exist as something more than just another angry blogger carrying the translucent white man's burden. Hoft knows that his blog is the sole source of news about the scary brown world out there for all of America's racist uncles (who need information to drunkenly yell at relatives during family gatherings) and boy does he deliver.

If you are the sort of person who occasionally takes a gander at the right wing portion of the internet and wonders how exactly it evolved into a place where obviously unstable folks are celebrated as demi-gods, Hoft is probably going to be your patient zero for most of the crazy shit that passes as facts over yonder. Hoft is now one of the main players in this never-ending and throughly depressing LARP of doom where any mundane news story can immediately be fashioned into PROOF of a wider conspiracy to destroy the underpinnings of exurban America. As one can imagine, he is universally incorrect in whatever assertions he draws from his RSS feed, so as a result the world is frequently treated to an ever-increasing number of blatantly stupid stories that Hoft flushes out of his laptop and out into the wider world.

Hoft's long list of lunacy since 2008 has kept Charles Johnson over at Little Green Footballs busy, and has probably justified at least the hiring of a few interns over at Media Matters. A VERY short roll call of Hoft's greatest hits include:

Jim Hoft has bravely defied not just truth or logic but probability as well (even the National Enquirer was right about something eventually) in his splendid career of embarrassing the city of St. Louis and the movement he represents. In a world of close to seven billion people, where the internet is exponentially becoming a greater part of people's everyday lives, it is Hoft who deftly gazes upon the information around him and manages to shamelessly shit his pants publicly on a daily basis. If one man truly embodies the spirit of Reed Irvine by proudly disseminating ideologically driven ignorance for the purpose of making this world a somehow worse place, it is Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internetâ„¢.

[Accuracy in the Media/Media Matters/LGF]

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Ever since Ruth Bader Ginsburg successfully underwent surgery for lung cancer, conservative sites and message boards have been trafficking in a ridiculous theory that she is actually dead and that there is some kind of Weekend at Bernie's-esque conspiracy to pretend she is still alive.

Now, one would think that her recent public appearance at a concert held in her honor would have put this to rest. Alas, it did not. Rather, the "researchers" (as they hilariously call themselves) determined that the concert was actually her funeral.

No. Really. That was a thing.

I admit that I gave this a lot more thought than I should have. Like, how did they think this would go? How long did they imagine this would go on for? Why would they risk having a full on funeral concert, open to the press? Wouldn't they just have not bothered to have a funeral at all? And what did these people think was going to happen when it was announced that she died for real? Or did they think that we were going to pretend that she is immortal and thus never announce her death? It's so confusing!

Being very up to date on the "RBG is secretly dead!" nonsense, I was very curious about which way the "anons" would go with this when they announced her return to work on Friday. They did not disappoint!

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.


Martin apparently bought the gun after successfully applying for an Illinois state Firearms ID. That license was revoked after he applied for a concealed carry license and was rejected due to his prior felony conviction in Mississippi, but no one bothered to see if he still had a gun.

Via USA Today:

"During the fingerprinting and background process it was discovered that he had a felony conviction for aggravated assault out of Mississippi," [Police Chief Kristen] Ziman said. "It should be noted that this conviction would not have shown up on a criminal background check conducted for an FOID card."

That seems like it might be a problem, no?

It has also since been revealed that Martin had a domestic battery arrest in 2008 in Aurora.


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