Jim Jordan Doesn't Know What Those Wrestlers Have Their Singlets In A Pile On The Doctor's Exam Room Floor About

We have a surprise for you that you never saw coming! Not only has House Freedom Caucus co-founder/Deep State witch-hunter/House Speaker wannabe Jim Jordan been swearing up and down that those former college wrestlers he used to coach are big liars who never got molested over a thousand times right under his nose by Ohio State University sports doc Richard Strauss -- NOT ONLY THAT -- but NBC News reports that Jordan has also been pressuring the former head wrestling coach at OSU to tell those SEXUAL ABUSE VICTIMS to STFU and wrestle, because it is just unfair that a fine upstanding Republican man like himself should be held to account for how over a thousand guys got sexually assaulted under his watch. WITCH HUNT!

They probably were hiking their singlets up too sexily and staying out after midnight anyway, after all, and all fine Christians like Jim Jordan know that nothing good happens after midnight to wrestler sluts who are showing too much leg.

Retired Ohio State wrestling coach Russ Hellickson reached out to two ex-team members and asked them to support their former assistant coach, Rep. Jim Jordan, R-Ohio, a day after they accused the powerful congressman of turning a blind eye to alleged sexual abuse by the team doctor, according to the wrestlers and text messages they shared with NBC News.

The former wrestlers said their ex-coach made it clear to them he was under pressure from Jordan to get statements of support from members of the team.

UNDER PRESSURE? Oh man, go fuck yourself.

These revelations come in texts between Hellickson and former college wrestler Dunyasha Yetts, who has been very outspoken about his experiences and says he personally spoke to Jordan about what happened to him. Hellickson told Yetts that if Yetts wanted to correct the record about what happened, he would help out, but please DO NOT talk to the media, we guess because the media would Fake News it up by printing Yetts's story verbatim. Like the way NBC News is doing right now! Here are the texts:

Keep on believin'! And STFU about Jim Jordan!


NBC News shares the details of an interview it did with Yetts this week, about a conversation he had with Hellickson on the phone. This is Yetts recounting what Hellickson said to him after the allegations came out, and it is damning:

"He said, 'I will defend Jimmy until I have to put my hand on a Bible and be asked to tell the truth, then Jimmy will be on his own,'" Yetts said in an interview this week, recalling his conversation with Hellickson. "I told him, 'I'm going to contradict you, coach, because I'm telling the truth.'"

So Hellickson admitted to Yetts that he knows Yetts is telling the truth and that his former colleague is a FULL-OF-SHIT liar. Just don't make him lie to Jesus, OK?

NBC News reports that Mike DiSabato, the former wrestler whose story kicked off this whole scandal, has heard similar things from Hellickson. He didn't share his texts with Hellickson, but he told NBC this:

"He said Jimmy was telling him he had to make a statement supporting him and he called to tell me why he was going to make it."

OH, JIMMY, you fucking sex-creep-protecting piece of shit.

NBC News says it's talked to six former wrestlers who are certain Jordan knew what was going on. And Dunyasha Yetts isn't the only one who says he talked directly to Jordan about it. NBC News adds this lovely tidbit, about how Jim Jordan's thugs are actually going after these sex abuse victims and their families:

"What a world we're living in when a member of Congress is digging up dirt on sex abuse victims like us," said another former Ohio State wrestler, who asked not to be identified "because my family is terrified" of being targeted by Jordan's defenders.

Don't worry -- Jim Jordan probably isn't personally thugging after these guys and their families. He's far too busy! After all, he's gotta get to the bottom of the scandal of why the FBI put known Russian intelligence asset Carter Page under surveillance. Is it even legal to be mean to Russian intelligence assets in Trump's America?

Hey, here's a statement for Jim Jordan going into the midterms -- maybe he can use it as a campaign slogan:

Jim Jordan is so dedicated to finding the truth about Hillary Clinton's Deep State Witch Hunt against Donald Trump, he could be standing in an exam room surrounded by 1,500 college wrestlers getting assaulted by a sports doctor literally next to him and he wouldn't even notice, ALLEGEDLY, and once he did notice, he'd try to cover it up!

What? Not catchy? OK fine, you'd have to have a very big truck to fit that on a bumper sticker, but we assume there are a enough folks in Ohio with big trucks to make it work. Not everything has to rhyme, Emily Dickinson.

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[NBC News]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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